How should I simplify this sentence "only with one aim, xxxx can go further"
I want to simplify the sentence "only with one aim, xxxx can go further. only with one belief, xxxx can go closer." into a short slogan. my version is " go further with one aim, go closer with one belief", but i think it is subtly different from the meaning of original one.

Question

How should I simplify this sentence "only with one aim, xxxx can go further"
I want to  simplify the sentence "only with one aim, xxxx can go further. only with one belief, xxxx can go closer." into a short slogan. my version is " go further with one aim, go closer with one belief", but i think it is subtly different from the meaning of original one.

Answer

I think, because your sentence is a slogan, it works. You have made the slogan about the reader, whereas the original sentence was about XXXX. However, Gary is right - the first (original) sentence is not natural.

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I don't really understand what the xxxxx signifies. However if you want to simplify this to its essentials  "focus".

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Focus and conviction will pave xxxx's path!

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It depends a little on the intended meaning. 
It could be 'with only one yyy, xxx can....'
It could also be 'only with one yyy, can xxx...'
There's a subtle difference between the two.
Unless it's clear from context, you usually need to specify closer to what, but perhaps as a slogan, you can ignore that...

Answer

any suggestions for revising the original sentence？

Risposte · 7

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