Could you advise me if this sentence is ok? The sentence: "I have noticed a few issues that you need pay attention." Thank you!

Looking from this perspective? Hi! Could you kindly advise me if this sentence ok? "Looking from this perspective, it is obvious that such examples can greatly benefit young people. " Thank you!

...bring people close to each other... ? Hi! Is this sentence ok? As an example: "Technology brings people close to each other."

The more..., the more.... Hello! Could you kindly advise me which sentence is better to use writing an essay? 1) The more attractive and informative ad, the more effective it is. or 2) The more attractive and informative is advertisement, the more effective is it. Thank you in advance!

Could you kindly check my essay plz?

Topic:

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others disagree. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

 

Answer:

From the evidence of the history, dangerous sports have been more preferred by people than other competitions. Despite this fact, some people hold the opinion that these deadly sports should be banned as they may hurt athlete’s health and even ruin their lives. I disagree with this view and believe that such sports can easing international tensions and bring people together.

 

Firs of all, the history has shown that extreme competitions could even interrupt battles and bring nations together to stadiums. From the ancient world, when Greeks and Romans would leave battlefields to participate in the gladiators games. To the modern politics disputes, when athletes from Israel and Palestine would forget their differences and compete fair and peacefully in martial games. Moreover, these sports usually attract the world’s attention that could force leaders to stop their disputes and review options to make partnerships with the opponents.

 

Secondly, dangerous sports can bring people with different background together. For example, my country is a multicultural one, but people are still divided into ethnical groups. However, MMI fights is a national sport and people with different culture and believes would support our sportsmen and sportswomen during the season together as one. It is clear that these competitions greatly benefit our community teaching the citizens tolerance.

 

Nevertheless, it is impossible to ignore arguments against dangerous sports. It is obvious that there is a huge risk for athletes. Hence, the event organizers could improve rules and develop new types of safety equipment to reduce this risk and to make such sports less dangerous.

 

In conclusion, banning dangerous sports can bring more disadvantages than benefits. In my opinion, we should focus on improving facilities, standards and rules for these sports to minimize the risks.

an IELTS essay answer structure

Hi everyone!
Today, doing practice, I found following interesting essay question:

 

<em>Nowadays companies and other organisations are requiring their employees to wear a uniform.</em>
<em>Think about jobs where uniform is important.</em>
<em>What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform?</em>

<em>
</em>

I know (I hope so :) ) following types of essay:
- Discussion
- Opinion
- Situation/Problem, Solution

But it seems that this one doesn’t feet in any types that I’ve known. It looks like a situation (the first 2 sentences), but at the same time like a discussion (last question). So, I’m a bit confused, could you kindly advise me, if the following structure is ok to answering this question:

<em>Introduction:</em>
<em>- Short description of the situation</em>
<em>- Short description why it can be used</em>
<em>1st paragraph:</em>
<em>- Introducing a job that requires wearing uniforms</em>
<em>- Explanation “why?”</em>
<em>2st paragraph:</em>
<em>- Introducing another job that requires wearing uniforms</em>
<em>- Explanation “why?”</em>
<em>3rd paragraph:</em>
<em>- Topic sentence (There are other advantages wearing ….)</em>
<em>- First advantage and example</em>
<em>- Second advantage and example</em>
<em>4th paragraph:</em>
<em>- Topic sentence (Despite the advantages …)</em>
<em>- First drawback and example</em>
<em>- Second drawback and example</em>
<em>Conclusion:</em>
<em>- Summarizing</em>
<em>- My opinion</em>

 

Thank you in advance!

until + will Hi! Could you please advise me whether it is a correct sentence? "I have some free time until new project will start" Thank you!

Pres. Continuous in parallel processes? Hi again! Could you please advice me, whether it is ok if I use p.continuous in such sentence? "It is because our brain is running a protection process while we are listening a bad news." Thank you!

The more... the more.. Hi! I'm writing essay about information resources. Could you please check my sentence? 1. whether I understand "the more" concept in the right way 2. is the structure correct? Sentence to check: "The more people these resources can attract the more investors they involve, and as a result, the more money they earn by advertisement." The meaning of these sentence in my head: If these resources attract more people they can involve more investors and start to earn more money by advertisement. Thank you!