A tunnel It feels like I always gotta do something. Something productive. Something that's for the future. Something that leaves something. After getting out of the army, I've never felt comfortable or like being myself. Oh, was I in a war, killing people? No, all i did during my service was fixing computers and messing with satellites. As my supervisor once told me, I did the easiest job in the most easy going unit. But still, even though it's been 4 months since the last day of service, I haven't come back to who I was. When I was in college before the service, I was full of confidence. But I am not. Before the service, I didn't feel guilty just because I had hang out with my friends all day. But I do now. I mean, I feel like i wasted all time in which I was doing my service. You know, what i did had nothing to do with my major or what I wanna do. It's unfair. It is. Why couldn't i have choice? Imagine this. You are living your life. And you just started the journey where you will find what you like in the end (at least, you believe so) And all of sudden, some random guys come up to you and say sth like ' You gotta walk in a dark tunnel for 2 years' and pick you up. When you open your eyes, all you see is darkness. No, it's not. There is something ahead of you. It's a white dot. Oh now it makes sense. You are in a dark tunnel and what you see is the exit of the tunnel. You walk. You just keep walking. Because you wanna get out of here and come back to your normal life. You walk to the white dot. It's so small. It must mean that the exit is far far far away. But you keep walking. Days passed, weeks passed, months passed. But the white dot haven't got any bigger. Now you tell yourself, 'it's not right. There is sth wrong with this tunnel. It's not right' But nothing changes. So you keep walking. Now that's what you do. Just keep walking. Now it has been two years. You finally see that the white dot IS an exit. It gets bigger on every step you take. Now you finally get out. You've come back to your normal life. But nothing is the same. Everything that you got used to has changed. You tell people around you ' I walked in a tunnel for two years. And that was terrible'. And some people say bollocks like 'Oh Well, the tunnel I went through, it was uphill. UPHILL! So you gotta show more gratitude, cause your tunnel was not UPHILL.' You wanna say back that 'Well that's not the point. Whether it's uphill or not..' But nobody listens to you. That's it