According to Emily Esfahan Smith's TED Talk, There's more to life than being happy, there are four pillars to life. The first pillar is belonging and being valued for who you are. Language learnings were asked what they want to be valued for or how belonging effects their relationships. Please add comments with your own opinions or respond to learners' comments. What do you want to be valued for?
1) It's very important to have transparent and honest relationships. Insecurities keep people from being honest with each other. Life is too short to spend time with dishonest people. -Italy
2) It's fundamental for us to determine who we are in order to achieve anything. You need to know your strengths, weaknesses and what you want to achieve in this life. You should be honest with yourself. After this, you can determine your purpose. -Russia
3) You have to think about who you are and what your value is to others in order to define yourself. If you don't know your value, you are like a tree with no roots. In my role as a mother and as a daughter, I find meaningfulness and purpose and have become happy with my life. Your value is reflected in the people closest to you. -Taiwan
4) We all hope that other people will notice our value. However, I live for myself now. I try to focus on myself and to improve myself within my family structure. This may have changed because my mother almost died twice in the last couple of years and now I know nothing is more important than my family. -Taiwan
5) I have a small group of friends and like to help them and also help my family. Sometimes, people can take advantage, but I hope they will remember me when I need help. -Brazil
6) I'm quite secure in my sense of belonging right now and my needs are being met for this pillar. I like people to value my intelligence. If someone notices how clever I am, and that I'm a girl with a brain (especially at the office, I feel a strong sense of satisfaction. -Malaysia
7) I want to be valued for my achievements. I want other people to respect me for my personality, my knowledge and wisdom (though I don't think I have a lot of knowledge or wisdom now). I want to mentor other people. I want to help guide other people and solve their problems. -South Korea
8) I want to be valued for: my family and my skilful and charismatic teaching. I want people to value me for me: generosity and kindness towards my children, behavior as a good daughter to my parents, enduring love for my husband and having earned the adoration of her husband, and responsibility towards my friends. I want to know as a good person who supports others and makes the world a better place. -South Korea
9) We do a lot of things without thinking about it. In your subconscious mind, you do things by reflex. What I want to be valued for lies in my subconscious. It's uncomfortable for me to speak about myself. However, my approach is not only to think about what is comfortable for me, but to consider the viewpoints, needs and motives of others. I want to be understood and to understand those around me whether I am at work or home with my family. -Russia
10) The opinions of other people doesn't interest me. I'm not a person of many words. If I have something to say, then I say it. If I don't agree with something, then I let the other people know that I don't agree. If people don't know me, they could think I'm arrogant or generous with people that I don't know. I don't like to speak with people that I don't know well. However, if people know me, they know that's not true. My friends know I'm always here for them, regardless of the hour they call, I will be there for them. That is my character. People close to me know that I will not change my character because of what people think. I am me and I will always be me. -Columbia
11) I want to be seen as a happy person who likes to smile all the time and as a friendly person. -Brazil
12) People approach me because I'm a good listener. If you're in a conversation with others. I want to be seen as a very genuine person who focuses on others. I want to say hello to people and see them on a personal level. -South Korea
13) I want to be valued for my efforts and for my good intentions. I want people to see that I have altruistic intentions and only want the best for the people in my life. -Carla
1) Set a purpose and goal. Have a reason you wake up every morning.Try not to be selfish and to be more helpful in your home and community. I don't believe in giving up my dreams to help other people, but I focus on people who impact my life. This is sustainable and it's possible to make a better world if you help those around you. -Brazil
2) If I can give something to my family and close friends, it makes me happy. If we can contribute something to society, we achieve meaning in our lives. Everyone must contribute something to society, we achieve meaning in our lives. Everyone must contribute to make their lives meaningful. Receiving makes us happy, but receiving without giving can leave us feeling empty and alone. -Malaysia
3) The pathway to happiness can actually cause unhappiness. When I get a promotion, I'm happy with it for a while, but then start thinking about the next promotion. Meaning is different. -Taiwan
4) I agree that pursuing happiness actually makes a person more depressed. In real life, we think about what we don't have and try to obtain it, but there may be obstacles we can't overcome. Pursuing material goods does not give our lives meaning because we constantly compare ourselves to others. -South Korea
5) If people pursue what they really want to do, they will be happier. In some cases we can't do what we really want do to because of reality (money issues or other problems). But if we can have a job that we really like doing, it makes life more enjoyable. If you are passionate about what you do, you will constantly try to learn more and improve and find meaning more easily. -South Korea
6) I believe learning new things and improving our knowledge and ability can help us grow and make life more meaningful. Also, living with compassion and helping other people, being generous and empathetic, brings meaning. -Taiwan
7) No one works completely alone. You have a client or boss. If you look for psychological results and accomplishment of goals from teamwork, you always have something to celebrate-that team spirit and healthy atmosphere. -Russia
8) If we help other people, and look out for each other... If you support your husband or wife, and have goals you can always find meaning. -Columbia
9) It's necessary to go the things you like. Stay close to the people that you love and do the things you like to do. -Brazil
10) Ideally, serving others and helping others helps us live a meaningful life. Then, we have to love ourselves and find a purpose and goals in life. Everything is meaningless if you can't admit who you are and find our own purpose for life. -South Korea
Reflection Question: Do you have any responses for these students? Do you agree or disagree? How do YOU think we can make our lives more meaningful?
This lesson comes from the TED Talk: "There's more to life than being happy" by Emily Esfahani Smith
