*Hi Everyone (Capital for "Everyone", because you are using this word as if it were their name, and therefore it is considered a proper noun). *Today I finished reading a book... (This is a complete, finished action that happened earlier on today. Therefore, use the past simple rather than the present perfect). *Twenty years earlier, Annie's mother had been killed. (Twenty years earlier (past perfect simple) than another point in the past (past simple)). *The lawyer said that police had not inspected this DNA. (Be consistent. Why contract "had not" to "hadn't" here if you do not do it in any other instance? In addition, since you are reviewing a book, a semi-formal style is appropriate in this context, and therefore contractions should be avoided. *The man who might kill Annie's mother had escaped from the prison. (Past perfect as in all the other instances in this paragraph). *It's the beginning... (Definite article - there is only one "beginning"). *Who might have kidnapped her? (Modal verb + present perfect | to denote possibility in the past). There is another of these mistakes, but I'll leave it up to you to find and correct it! *Was it her lover, her groom, or the man... (Each entry on a list must be proceeded by a comma including the last one that includes a conjunction, in this case "or"). *...their relationships, and the way one event leads to another. (I had little idea what you were trying to express here so I made an educated guess!) Hello there, stp1! A solid effort! You can give yourself a solid pat on the back! Hope it helped! Give me a shot if there was anything you didn't understand! From me to you, it's sentiments of light and peace! ☝🏽🙏🏽🤲🏽🔥🌞🕊️🌈🌠