In the first example, you want the object pronoun "her." You don't want the reflexive pronoun because the coach was rebuking someone else, not "herself." A player misses shots, not the coach. The coach doesn't normally play unless she's a player/coach. To answer your other question: it would make sense to say that you "blame yourself" for something that goes wrong, but if you "rebuke yourself" it means that you're talking to yourself out loud. In the second example, you want the reciprocal pronoun "each other." If you use the reflexive pronoun "ourselves", it would either mean that each one would somehow "find" himself independently or that they would have some sort of communal spiritual experience rather than that they would be able to meet each other.

As a non-native English speaker, my answer may not be entirely accurate. However, I suggest that "rebuke oneself" can be used in certain contexts, with the meaning of "strong self-reproach". For instance: She rebukes herself for her stupidity. The sentence "The girl's coach rebuke her for missing some very shots" is grammatically correct, though at least in my opinion" The girl's coach rebuked her for failing to score some very easy shots."flows more naturally. : ) Regarding "find oneself", I interpret it as a verb phrase that implies a sudden realization of being in an unexpected situation or one's own innate abilities. Given the absence of contextual information, I am uncertain whethere "find oneself"can be utilized appropriately in your sentence.

1. You can say this if you mean to say that the coach is both the one who rebukes and the one whom is rebuked. 2. You can say this if you mean to say that the coach rebuked the girl. 3. Yes. You can also say "one another". 4. Yes, you can say this. "Each other" or "one another" would be more clear. However, I like the sound of "ourselves" perhaps because it DOES sound a bit weird. It's a bit poetic and the meaning is ambiguous. Nonetheless, it can be interpreted to have the same meaning and it's fun to talk in ways that push the imagination a little.