I edited it for a long time, but must not have "submitted " it. I corrected it on my home computer. However, I am not home now. When I return home, I will submit it if it is still there.

I edited your notebook, but in editing, may have changed some of the meaning.

When writing an essay in English, it is helpful to think of a sandwich: Top Bread is the introduction or what you are going to say (including 3 statements), then the inside of the sandwich is a sentence or paragraph about each of the statements with your argument about them, then the last bread is the conclusion or what was learned from what you said.

I included information in brackets [ ] that would not go in the writing, but are there for you to decide what you would include.

I have made too many changes for this to be considered only a correction. I have also been unable to "submit" it and cannot figure out why. I will remove some of my extra comments to see if it fits better. Some of this included that your title does not exactly fit with the true topic of your essay which seems to be the tradition of men paying women and their parents in order to marry them and why you think this tradition should change. About mid-way through your writing, you changed from talking about the tradition itself and shy it existed to why it should end, but didn't use a sentence to explain that you were doing this. I was only able to submit the correction after deleting half at a time, so I submitted it in two parts.