Tuesday July 21, 2011 I love Anne! How strange to say that, because we cannot be more far from each other, because we have shared so little time together until now, because I wasn’t able to see all her beauty when we were classmates at the INALCO. But she is all my heart desire, a loving woman, shining of all her beauty. She has a grasp of what Eternity, Life, Truth and Way are that I have never seen in anybody else, much better that I will ever have myself. That makes me thing about a poem of Aragon: “I have all learned from you about human things, and I’ve seen the world the way you see it. I have all learned from you: how to drink in the fountains, how to read in the sky the stars far-off.” I know I just can dream my love. Maybe it is too insane. Fil always tells me just to forget her. There are so many girls on this earth. Yes! So many roses, but just one is really important for me. I cannot physically be by her side. I try all my best to be as much present in spirit as I can. And each time she reads a letter from me, she gets a parcel from me, she has an email from me, she always shows that she cares about me… maybe not in the way I wish to. I do not know either… and it is useless to worry about that. Because all in all, we have to be together in the same place for something could ever happen. For my coming holidays, I plan to buy this plane ticket to the other side of the earth, and to see her. I really fear to tell her about my feelings. Well, for the moment it is pointless. But she intends to return in France. I just pray that this time I will have the courage to say to her everything I am keeping secretly in my heart. I do not want to lose her. I do not wish that telling her will put an end to our relation. But I will tell her anyway, would it be for my doom or for my redemption.