This is a paragraph describing both movements and their sounds when someone enter a restaurant, which version is better? Or could you please help me improve it?
Version1:Then follows a flurry of sound- the swishing of dusting off the shoes, the popping of opening the thermos jug, the swooshing as towels are quickly handed to visitors, the buzz of flies as they are chased away, and the gurgles as customers are rinsing their mouth.
Version2: Then you will find yourself in the midst of a frenzy of activity—the dusting of shoes, the uncorking of the thermos jug with a “pop”, the missile of warm towels to clean one’s hands with, the buzzing of flies as they are chased away, and the gurgles of mouths that are being rinsed.
Does this paragraph conform to English expression habits?
Is the structure “the + sound of + doing something”, for example, the popping of opening the thermos jug, strange in English?
If I want to describe the sound of doing an action and express both the action and the sound of doing the action, how can I do it?