banboke
On day 4 of our trip to Hokkaido, we checked out of our hotel at 9 am and went to Asahiyama Zoo, where we saw a penguin parade. The penguins following the keeper were very cute. We also saw sea lions, red pandas, hippos, and polar bears. My husband was so focused on taking photos of a train that will be discontinued this month that we couldn't enjoy the zoo at our leisure, which was disappointing. He spent the afternoon taking photos of trains and planes. We got home at 11 pm. We had a great time seeing the majestic nature and various animals.
2024年3月4日 10:16
修改 · 3
On day 4 of our trip to Hokkaido, we checked out of our hotel at 9 am and went to Asahiyama Zoo, where we witnessed a penguin parade. The cuteness of the penguins impressed us as they followed the keeper. We also saw sea lions, red pandas, hippos, and polar bears. My husband, much focused on snapping pictures of a soon to be discontinued train, made it hard to enjoy the zoo at our leisure - a disappointment. He took photos all afternoon of trains and planes. We got home at 11 pm. All things considered, we had a great time seeing the majesty of Nature and the variety of animals.
You made only one actual mistake: "the majestic nature". My other suggestions are for style only. I reduced your use of present participles. Overuse of present participles is common among native Asian speakers.
2024年3月4日
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