My experience with language partners<o:p></o:p>
In 2016 I’ve made a concerted effort to speak with people of italki everyday. It’s been an interesting experience. I’ve sent out many, many invitations to members & I receive a response about 50% of the time. Of those respondents I have actual conversations with about 1/3 of the people. I’ve averaged about 3 hours a day speaking with people so it’s been very useful, albeit time consuming. In the end I’ve been very lucky to find about 8 people that I can speak with every week, some twice a week. But it takes many, many invitations to get to that point.<o:p></o:p>
What I’ve found is that not all language partners work out. There are incompatibilities in language levels, interests, seriousness & punctuality. It’s very difficult to have a conversation with someone who is very new & can’t carry on a simple conversation in their target language. I’m not a teacher & while I can correct errors, I cannot teach a raw beginner grammar. In my opinion a person should have a base knowledge of the language before attempting a conversation. The easiest conversations are those where both parties contribute ideas/questions/answers. It simply doesn’t work if one person wants the other to do all of the heavy lifting and control the entire conversation. I have also found that many people treat punctuality as something that is reserved for other, more important parts of their lives. They say that they’ll talk at 4:00pm on Saturday but if something better comes along they’ll do that instead. All it takes is an advance message to let the other person know they can’t make it. Often they won’t ever respond again after a missed conversation. I assume they’re embarrassed or they don’t want to deal with a potential conflict. It’s a shame really because I understand that busy lives can interfere & all it takes is a little communication to move on.<o:p></o:p>
If you want to find a language partner I suggest the following:<o:p></o:p>
- State your language level in your profile. Whether you are a beginner or have an advanced level you should let others know<o:p></o:p>
- Contribute to the website through discussions, answer questions etc. It allows others to see that you are serious & what your level is in your target language. It also pinpoints areas that you need to work on<o:p></o:p>
- Send invitations to people that say more than “Hi, how are you?” Write something in your target language, something that includes what you hope to get out of the contact & what you can provide to the other person<o:p></o:p>
- Show up when you say you’ll chat or send a message explaining that you will be late or cannot make it.<o:p></o:p>
I also have a comment about written conversations. Maybe it’s a generational thing but I find that exchanging messages is relatively ineffective the way most people do it. To be effective I think that a written conversation should operate much the same what that a verbal conversation works. Choose a time to communicate, send responses immediately back & forth, let the other person know if/when you are done & you are leaving the conversation. The idea that you will receive a message and respond in 10 minutes, an hour or a day doesn’t make sense to me. If I’m having a video/audio conversation on Skype and the other person leaves in the middle to answer a phone call or eat lunch & doesn’t tell me, that would be pretty annoying. But it happens all the time in written conversations. After 5 minutes with no response most people will move on to better things.<o:p></o:p>
Language partners are amazing resources. They don’t have to become “friends” but repeat conversations get you past discussions about the weather, your job, etc. and onto specific areas of practice, detailed discussions of various topics that will increase your vocabulary. But you have to treat your language partners like gold, they are a rare commodity and not something to be taken for granted.
Dave...
Your observations and recommendations are both helpful and instructive to language exchange partners... well done Dave.
I hope and recommend that all language learners read and adopt your suggestions.
Definitely one of the best comments I've ever seen here! There are no better words to describe how important language partners are.
You're right! The biggest problem I face here, and other people have told me too, is the lack of commitment. Most of people treat that, and other learning tools, like social networks. A few people don't understand that here is perfect place to learn a language and get good language partners. I've seeking other websites as well and most of people put into their profiles.: "I want to learn Portuguese, English, Spanish... I'm friendly... Don't be afraid in message me! I'm looking forward talking to you..." but they don't take it seriously. If you are decided to get a language partner you must to have in mind that the other person will count on you. I for example save some time when people ask me for a conversation and when he or she doesn't show up it is very frustrating.
Good language partners are rare, if you find a good one take him or her very well because it is like gold. :)
I really appreciate knowing your experience with language partners and your suggestions. So, thank you for this discussion :)
I think it is a "tough job" to find proper language partners if you are learning English (such as myself) because there are much more native Spanish speakers learning English than native English speakers learning Spanish.
On the other hand, I find it difficult to make the language exchange balanced, specially if there are big differences in the target language command or if one of them is not confident enough.
