Sarah
I've written a short paragraph about "Health Problems".Could you please help me,and correct my notes It goes without saying that there are numerous factors health problems. In recent years, changing in people's eating habits has noticeable effects on people's health problems, so this factor should be taken into account as one of the underlying reasons. Undoubtedly, people prefer to eat fast food rather than home-made foods, which are healthier for human's body. Furthermore, an immense amount of saturated fat can be found in just a small portion of junk food, which can cause grave health problems in the future for people. Another important factor which causes health problems is to prefer sedentary rather than active works. Lack of mobility and inactivity are the legitimate reasons for various health problems. In recent years, most people spend a great deal of their time not only in front of computer's screen, but also in front of TV to watch different kinds of programs. As a result, obesity is becoming one of the primary phenomenons in 21st century.
2013年1月28日 22:09
修改 · 6
1

I've written a short paragraph about "Health Problems".Could you please help me,and correct my notes

It goes without saying that there are numerous factors which contribute to health problems. In recent years, the change in people's eating habits has had a noticeable impact on the quality of people's health.   An unhealthy diet should be taken into account as one of the underlying reasons of many people's health issues. Undoubtedly, due to the hurried lifestyles that many of us have grown accustomed to living, many people are forced to eat fast food rather than home-made foods, which are frequently healthier for the human body. Furthermore, an immense amount of saturated fat can be found in just a small portion of fast food, which can lead to serious health problems. Another important factor which contributes to the rising number of health problems is the tendency of many people to live sedentary lifestyles rather than being active.  (sorry, I ran out of time and was unable to put my spin on the remainder.)

2013年1月28日
1

I've written a short paragraph about "Health Problems".Could you please help me,and correct my notes

It goes without saying that there are numerous factors which cause health problems. In recent years, a change in people's eating habits has had noticeable effects on people's health problems, so this factor should be taken into account as one of the underlying reasons. Undoubtedly, people prefer to eat "fast food", rather than home-made foods, which are healthier for the human body. Furthermore, an immense amount of saturated fat can be found in just a small portion of junk food, which can cause grave health problems in the future for people. Another important factor which causes health problems is the preference of  sedentary rather than active works. Lack of mobility and inactivity are major reasons for various health problems. In recent years, most people have spent a great deal of their time not only in front of a computer's screen, but also in front of TV watching different kinds of programme. As a result, obesity is becoming one of the primary phenomena in 21st century health.

 
2013年1月28日
Thans Jura, Italki moderator for your comment. ^-^
2013年1月28日
I certainly agree with all that you have written.
2013年1月28日
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