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vickyye
My day Today is Monday. I get up at 6:00. I have my breakfast at about 6:30. Then I clean my room, wash my face and brush my teeth. I have Milk for breakfast. 7:00 to 7:40, I read English. I go to company at 7:40. At eight thirty in the morning to start the day's work. The morning of the job is busy, I will reply to all the e-mail, and held a regular meeting Monday. At 12:00, I’m very hungry. I have lunch at company. I go to bed at 12:30 in the noon. We have two meeting in the afternoon. About develop marketing plan for major customers and to formulate methods for the administration of the bonus system performance. Six o'clock after work, I rushed to the yoga the classroom, 1 hours of yoga practice. Later, go home. Ready to take a shower and the evening English class. This is my day, hectic but fulfilling.
2013年5月20日 03:42
修改 · 10

My day

Today is Monday. I get got (1) up at 6:00. I always  (1) have my breakfast at about 6:30. Then I clean my room, wash my face and brush my teeth. I have Milk for breakfast. From 7:00 to 7:40, I read English, and then I go to the office company at 7:40.

At eight thirty in the morning to start the day's work starts. The job is busy in the morning of the job is busy, I will(1) reply to all the e-mail, and hoeld a regular meeting Monday meeting. By At 12:00, I’m very hungry, and I have lunch at the office company. I go to bed have a snooze at after lunch 12:30 in the noon.

We have two meetings in the afternoon. One is aAbout developing marketing plans for major customers and the other is to formulate methods for the administration of the bonus system performance. At six o'clock after finishing work, I rushed to the yoga the classroom, for 1 hours of yoga practice.

LaterAfterwards I go home, get ready to take a shower and prepare for the evening English class.

This is my day, hectic but fulfilling.

 

(1) I get up = I always/usually get up - this is present simple tense; I got up = this time I got up - past tense.  I suggested changing to present simple tense by adding 'always'

2013年5月20日

My day

Today is Monday. I get up at 6:00. I have my breakfast at about 6:30. Then I clean my room, wash my face and brush my teeth. I have Milk for breakfast. 7:00 to 7:40, I read English. I go to work at 7:40.

At eight thirty in the morning I start the day's work. The morning of the job is busy, I will reply to all the e-mails, and hold a regular meeting Monday. At 12:00, I’m very hungry. I have lunch at work. I go to bed at 12:30 in the noon[1].

We have[2] two meeting in the afternoon. One to develop marketing plan for major customers and another to formulate methods for the administration of the bonus system performance[3]. Six o'clock after work, I rushed to the yoga theclassroom, for 1 hours of yoga practice.

Later, I go home. I am ready to take a shower and my evening English class.

This is my day, hectic but fulfilling.

red = errors

blue = suggested changes

green = needs changing.

[1] - either 'in the afternoon', or leave it out completely. Since you have just talked about lunch, it is clear that you are talking about the afternoon. We don't have a 'noon' period in english.

[2] Have, or had? Have if you always have two meetings on monday afternoons, or 'had' if you had two today.

[3] Splitting up the description 'one xxx and another yyy' makes it much easier to read which one is which (this is assuming I have interpreted your meaning correctly).

2013年5月20日
@Michelle Thank!This is my life.
2013年5月20日
WOO,YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!
2013年5月20日
Come on!
2013年5月20日
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