Exercise: Proposal for a new TV show
I'd be grateful if anyone can correct this piece of writing.
Task: New TV show-Hall of fame.
We are planning a series of documentary programmes on famous people who have made a positive contribution to history.
Who would you nominate from your country?
Write a proposal nominating one person from your country, and explaining why this person is important to the history of your country.
PROPOSAL FOR TV SHOW- HALL OF FAME.
The aim of this proposal is to nominate an Argentinian celebrity for the new documentary programme and to outline the main reasons of my selection.
Doctor René Favaloro.
Owing to the fact that my country has many well-known celebrities such as, José de San Martín, (liberator of Argentina, Chile, Peru), Jorge Luis Borges (worldwide famous writer) or Francisco, (current pope), it was extremely difficult for me to choose only one person. However, I consider that Doctor René Favaloro, who was not only a successful heart surgeon but also a remarkable and helpful person. He made history in Argentina and so he is the perfect character for the new TV show.
Main reasons:
1) His contribution to the medicine.
Doctor Favaloro had a higher degree in medicine from the University of La Plata in the early 60´s and settled in Cleveland (USA), where he started to study heart surgery. It was there that he began doing researches and discovered a way to improve the procedure of the coronary artery bypass surgery. Thanks to this, hundreds of lives are saved around the world every year.
2) Foundation René Favaloro.
In 1970, after returning to Argentina, he founded the foundation which carries his name in which were made the first organ transplants were made. There, Favaloro not only operated on wealthy people but also on indigents due to what he felt was both a necessity and his obligation. This foundation gained much prestige through the years and is currently one of the largest institutions dedicated to cardiology in the Americas.
Conclusion.
I believe that, Doctor René Favaloro should be taken into account for the new TV-series as we was one of the most important celebrities that my country and the medicine have ever had.
<em>Excellent work! Your English is very good. One thing to note: in American English, commas always go after parentheses. I don't know if this is the case in other English varieties, but it is how I corrected.</em>
Exercise: Proposal for a new TV show
I'd be grateful (if someone/to anyone who) can correct this piece of writing.
Task: New TV show-Hall of fame.
We are planning a series of documentary programmes on famous people who have made a positive contribution to history.
Who would you nominate from your country?
Write a proposal nominating one person from your country, and explaining why this person is important to the history of your country.
PROPOSAL FOR TV SHOW- HALL OF FAME.
The aim of this proposal is to nominate an Argentinian celebrity for the new documentary programme and to outline the main reasons of my selection.
Doctor René Favaloro.
Owing to the fact that my country has many well-known celebrities such as, José de San Martín, (liberator of Argentina, Chile, Peru) Jorge Luis Borges (world- wide famous/world-renowned writer) or Francisco, (current pope) it was extremely difficult for me to choose only one person. However, I consider that Doctor René Favaloro, who was not only a successful heart surgeon but also a remarkable and helpful person, who made history in Argentina and so he is the perfect character for the new TV show.
Main reasons:
1) His contribution to the medicine.
Doctor Favaloro had a higher degree in medicine from the University of La Plata in the early 60´s and settled in Cleveland (USA) where he started to study heart surgery. It was there where he began doing researches and discovered a way to improve the procedure of the coronary artery bypass surgery procedure. Thanks to this, hundreds of lives are saved around the world every year.
2) Foundation René Favaloro.
In 1970, after returning to Argentina, he founded the foundation which carries his name in where were made the first organ transplants were performed. There, Favaloro not only operated on wealthy people but also on indigents, which due to he felt was both a necessity and his obligation. This foundation gained much prestige through/throughout the years and is currently one of the largest institutions dedicated to cardiology in the Americas.
Conclusion.
I believe that, Doctor René Favaloro should be taken into account considered for the new TV-series as he was one of the most important (and highly recognized) people that my country and the medicine have had ever.
Your entry is really well-written. It only required minor tweaks. Well done.
