Could anyone help me with narrative tense? Just now I am trying to make a text accompanying an educative cartoon. It will be about the usage of listen and hear.
It would be very kind of you if you correct my text and give me some advice.

This is Mike. He is a nice and joyful guy. He is in love with Mary/He seems to be in love with Mary/He had fallen in love with Mary.
This is uncle Tom. Mary’s father. He has a big family and has to work hard to make a living. Just now he is sleeping after a grueling day.
O, Gosh! Just at this moment Mike has decided to sing a song to his beloved girl. What will happen?
Uncle Tom can hear the loud music/a loud sound. It wakes him up. He is getting in furious and runs out.
But Mike doesn't know/realise anything, he is going on singing.
Uncle Tom is shouting at him. But Mike is so passionate he doesn’t hear him.
Do you hear me?
I can’t listen to this loud music.
But Mike doesn’t notice him. Just at this moment Mary is standing in the corner of the house and listening to music.

I don't know a lot about the narrative tense, grammatically, but that was an improvement for narration in the present.