12/26 comparision writing In the reading passage, the author provides three piece of strong evidence attempting to prove that Robert E. Pearty have indeed reached the North Pole in 1909, However, the

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chang hsion

12/26 comparision writing In the reading passage, the author provides three piece of strong evidence attempting to prove that Robert E. Pearty have indeed reached the North Pole in 1909, However, the speaker holds a contradictory view and explains her personal reasons. Firstly, in the passage, it is said that, according to Peary's records and equipment the National Geographic Society have decleared Peary's North Pole trip was real. But the speaker mentioned that the material was actually form one of Peary's friend, who has supported the adventurer and the committee didn't examinate the record carefully enough, so the declare was not objective and convincing. Secondly, the passage tries to respond the question about the authenciticy using the experience of another explorer named Tom Avery, who has reached the North Pole using the same trek from the same startpoint but taken less time than Peary. On the other hand, the lecturer disagrees with it and points out that the two piece of experience are uncomparable, since Tom Avery's trek didn't need to transport food and explored in a more favorable weather condition. Finally, the author of the passage believes that the photographs taken by Peary can substantiate his claim to have reached the North Pole. To render the disproof, the lecturer reveals that the Surf's position was determined by measuring shadows in the photographs, but the photos Peary offered were unfocus and blured, through which we definitely couldn't get a precise result.

2018年12月26日 04:14

修改 · 2

12/26 Comparative Writing

Within the reading passage, the author listed three strong pieces of evidence in an attempt to prove that Robert E. Peary had indeed reached the North Pole in 1909. However, the speaker holds a contradictory view and explains her reasoning by undermining the author’s evidence. Firstly, while the author noted that the National Geographic Society declared--primarily based on Peary’s records and equipment--that Peary had successfully reached his goal, the speaker argued that the material it used as the basis of its announcement, was actually from one of Peary's friends--specifically, one who had supported the adventurer—thus, both his declaration and his motives were clearly not objective.

Secondly, the writing passage tried to respond to the question of possibility by using the experience of another explorer, Tom Avery, who reached the North Pole earlier using the same route and from the same starting point, yet, who took less time than Peary did. The lecturer, on the other hand, disagrees with that conclusion, and points out that the two expeditions are not comparable since Avery's trek didn't need to transport food and it occurred under vastly more favorable weather conditions. Finally, the author relied heavily on the photographs taken by Peary in an effort to substantiate his claim of having reached the North Pole, but the lecturer reveals that Peary’s photos were unfocused and blurred, and thus, essentially useless as his location could not be accurately determined by measuring the shadows in the photographs.

Hi, Hsion. Good job! Whatever changes that I’ve made were merely done to allow your sentences to sound more natural to my native ears. I hope that this helps you. J.

2018年12月26日

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