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zohreh
During the weekdays, I work to make money and study but on the weekend, I try to relax and have good time to get enough energy for next weekdays, I usually gather with my family as well as I try to do my favorite activities like reading and painting.

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受邀老师
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During the weekdays, I work to make money and study. On the weekend, I usually gather with my family as well as I try to do my favourite activities like reading and painting. I try to relax and have good time to get enough energy for next working week.
A have improved the sentence structures and given the story a narrative or timeline through the week. Sentences are helpful to the reader. They give the reader time to pause and comprehend the sentence they have read. This help them build on the information you are trying to give them when you write. I hope that helps. Have fun

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