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Saeed Gharaati
Can you correct my introduction in PhD interview? I'm Saeid Gharaati. I graduated from Azad University of Isfahan. I have a B.Sc and M.Sc in food science and engineering. I defended my thesis in September 2014. I've been teaching in Fadak Technical and Vocational University since 2012. And I've worked with other universities including Iranian Food and Drug Organization in Kashan University of Medical Sciences in order to improve food quality since 2015. I've participated in meetings of Iranian National Standards Organization for standardization of food industries and had about 660 hours of training related to my field of study. I'm very interested to pursue my studies to a PhD degree.
2016年6月19日 06:25
回答 · 4
1
Salaam! "My name is Saeid Gharaati, and I graduated from Azad University of Isfahan in (year?) with a B.Sc and M.Sc in food science and engineering. I defended my thesis in September 2014. (Maybe talk a little more about your thesis? It is a random sentence that seems to need explanations) I have been teaching in Fadak Technical and Vocational University since 2012, and I have worked with other universities including Iranian Food and Drug Organization in Kashan University of Medical Sciences in order to improve food quality since 2015. Furthermore, I participated in several meetings of Iranian National Standards Organization for standardization of food industries and had about 660 hours of training related to my field of study. I have a strong interest and ambition to further advance my bandwidth in my field, thus I wish to begin pursuing my studies by working on a PhD degree. (Tips and suggestions: Avoid using contractions in formal papers; you used a lot of "I've" and "I'm." very informal. Also, try adding some variety in your sentences, so avoid starting each sentence with "I've..." "I've...." ..it shows lack of strong language use, and in Ph.D studies you will be required to write a lot, so it is a skill they will analyze. So, you can fix this by adding variety through using words such as furthermore/in addition/Also, etc. Also, never start sentences with "And...". Overall, good job! Good luck! )
2016年6月19日
1
My name is (avoid contractions in writing, plus I'm is mainly used in speech) Saeid Gharaati. I have graduated (present perfect for life achievements) from Azad University of Isfahan. I have a B.Sc and M.Sc in food science and engineering where (relative pronoun where to link two phrases) I defended my thesis in September 2014. I have (no contractions) been teaching in Fadak Technical and Vocational University since 2012. I have also worked with other universities including Iranian Food and Drug Organization in Kashan University of Medical Sciences in order to improve food quality since 2015. Moreover (use linking words), I have participated in meetings of the Iranian National Standards Organization for standardization of food industries and have had (present perfect)about 660 hours of training related to my field of study. That is the reason why I am (so) interested to pursue my studies/finish my PhD degree.
2016年6月19日
1
My name is Saeid Gharaati, a graduate from Azad University of Isfahan. I have a B.Sc and M.Sc in food science and engineering, where I defended my thesis of, "..." in September 2014. I have been teaching "..." in Fadak Technical and Vocational University since 2012; I've worked with other universities, such as in Kashan University of Medical Sciences under the department of the Iranian Food and Drug Organization in order to improve food quality since 2015. As well, I have participated in meetings within the Iranian National Standards Organization for standardization of food industries, and have had about 660 hours of training related to my field of study. For these reasons, I am very interested to continue academic pursuit.
2016年6月19日
My name is Saeid Gharaati , and I am a graduate from Azad University of Isfahan . I have a BSc and MSc in food science and engineering . I successfully defended my master's thesis in September 2014, and I have been teaching in Fadak Technical and Vocational University since 2012. I have also worked with other universities, including Kashan University of Medical Sciences, where we have been collaborating with the Iranian Food and Drug Organisation on reseach into food quality improvements since 2015. Besides that, I have participated in seminars organised by the Iranian National Standards Organization on the standardization of food industries and had about 660 hours of training in my field of study . I hope my academic qualifications as well as my practical experinces, which I have shared with you above, will allow me to further pursue my interest in this field, and that is to pariticipate in a PhD program with your universtiy.
2016年6月19日
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