“proprietress” → “shop owner” (the usual word in everyday English; proprietress is very rare and old-fashioned). “There is only 30 minutes” → “She had only 30 minutes” (correct tense and number). “conduct the self rescue” → “rescue herself” (simpler and natural). “hitting the door using the goods inside” → “hitting the door with goods inside” (smoother). “found there is a sound from that storage” → “heard the sound coming from the storage room” (clearer). “as a return” → “in return” (the right phrase). “promise she would like to treat the delivery guy as a brother” → “promised to treat him like a brother” (natural). “a kind and a grateful o” → completed as “kind and grateful”. The story is strong and clear. These small changes make it flow more naturally.