Hi Iamtheman!
I have included my corrections in bold below. I have also included some extra information on the reasoning behind some of the changes I made bellow. I'm not sure how much you would get between 0-5 since I don't know how you are being marked, but I think you did a pretty good job communicating you ideas and giving examples.
________
The major difference between my life and my parents' lives is technology. Now there is an ever changing world with new inventions, discoveries, gadgets, etc. Whereas in olden days there weren't many discoveries and very few gadgets.
First, when my parents used to study, the transportation was not up to the mark. There were fewer* schools, fewer jobs and less development. This changed with time and when I went to school there were different modes of transport, many more schools, different businesses were established and our city was much more developed.
Second, when my parents graduated from school, there were even fewer colleges than schools and getting admission into a college was easy only for the brighter candidates.When I graduated from school there were many colleges and some of them were even ready to give admission before the results.
Third, there were few resources for study, like limited books, libraries, etc. Now, we have the internet, a huge collection of books from local and international authors, and notes too can be shared with friends due to the development of technology. We even have mobile phones to talk to anybody at any time.
Fourth, there were fewer jobs during my parents' time and getting a well paid job not only required enormously hard work, but also recommendations. Now, technology has developed, paving the way to more jobs and one can search and apply to a job through internet.
Hence, technology has provided the change and improvement needed for a man to study what he wants to, get resources, and connect with people. It has also provided different forms of entertainment and new and improved gadgets are developed every day to make life easier. Although all of this helps the new generation in learning and developing, we don't value things as our parents did. The hard work they put in to complete a task** made them value their resources. We don't value them as much because we get them too easily. For example, there weren't any mobile phones when my parents were studying, but now, even though some mobile phones are very costly, we get our hands on them in our teens. We don't realize the effort put in by our parents to get it***. So, I would like the future generations to be like me i.e., they should get some things easily and the other things by hard work, so that they know its value and become responsible people.
* Use the word “fewer” when something can be easily counted and the word “less” when it cannot. I know this isn't always easy to determine as it depends on the way the word is being used. For example “I should drink fewer cups of coffee in a day” and “I should drink less coffee” are both correct. The first example is talking about many individual cups of coffee (things that can be counted) while the second is talking about liquid coffee (this cannot be counted).
** The word “word” is technically correct, but using it again in the same sentence sounds unnatural (redundant).
*** I'm not sure what “it” is referring to. If you mean “mobile phones,” you should say “them” instead (since “mobile phones” is plural). If you mean “their resources,” you should state “their resources” again here in order to make your sentence more clear.
I hope that helps!
