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What is a toxic grandmother? My late step-grandpa (my grandma’s third husband) said to my mother that he regretted marrying my grandma and almost wanted to divorce her. He couldn’t discuss this with his own children because they were against this marriage in the first place; he didn’t want to escalate the conflict. My grandpa passed away when my mother was nine. My grandma married her second husband soon after, leaving my mother to fend for herself with my aunts. She kicked the second husband’s children when he went out to work; and told my mother, “I couldn’t beat him, then I kicked him.” The second husband also passed away with a regret. Someone may say, "You can avoid her." But my aunts refused to keep in contact with her, they even went to court, so my parents have to take care of her after her third husband passed away. She's still verbally abusive. I put some distance, but I need to visit my parents. I get financial independence and I visit my parents because I am the only child under the one-child policy. My parents took me to the train station last Sunday. I took a close look at them, as if it was the last glance. I am finally understanding my last step-grandpa’s daughter, who cried aloud on the phone, because my grandma didn’t allow her to take care of her father; then he passed away soon. She thumped her chest on the funeral while said “I am too upset”.
15 september 2023
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