IELTS Task 1 - Describing chart - Please help me to correct if any mistakes!

Topic: The table below give information on consumer spending on different items in five countries in 2002.(IELTS Cambridge 7 - Writing Task 1)


The table indicates the variation of consumer spending on three groups of items: Food/Drinks/Tobacco, Clothing/Footwear, and Leisure/Education. The information was taken in 2002 from five countries, namely, Ireland, Italy, Spain, Turkey, and Sweeden.
Firstly, as we can see from the figures above that Food/Drinks/Tobacco is in the most important position on consumer expenditure for all five of the five countries. To be detailed, the percentage of this kind of expenditure was around 30% in Turkey and Ireland while in the other three countries, it was under 20%.
Secondly, the group of Clothing/Footwear took the second significant slot. Notably, Italy's consumer spending on clothing/footwear has the highest percentage with 9%, while that of Sweden got the lowest percentage with 5.4%.
Finally, expenditure on leisure and education is the least of all three groups of items. since The table shows that in Turkey, the percentage of consumer spending on leisure and education was highest higher than the other countries, but only at 4.35%.
In conclusion, the figures showed in the above table the divergency division of consumer expenditure among various items. The percentage of spending on Food/Drinks/Tobacco was highest whereas that on Leisure/Education was lowest.

Your writing is very good! Not all of my changes were necessary but I wanted to help you make an analysis with fewer words. For example, you defined the three categories nicely in your first paragraph but then switched to saying "food, drinks, tobacco" instead of "Food/Drinks/Tobacco". You weren't wrong in doing so, it is just good to keep consistency throughout your writing. Overall I thought your points were made clearly, good job!

Writing task 2/17

Many people think when tourists traveling to foreign nations they have to comply with the traditional habitude.
Others, however consider that those countries should accept multi-culture from different place. I completely
disagree with this opinion. I believe travelers need to fit themselves into the new environments, rather than hoping 

their behavior will be accepted by local people.


People might meet some “culture shock” in several cities during their trips, and they may feel uncomfortable and weird
about local culture. But I suggest that visitors most adapt themselves into the new environments; there are few explanations
of my opinion. Firstly, people could make foreign friends easily through by blending themselves in local cultures, which means travelers
can get more detail about the countries, and local friends can also take them to the a secret spot where only be known by local people.
Secondly, trying to learn local culture has is beneficial to visitors who want to experience different lifestyles. Experiencing a new life style
can not only open a person's mind, but also refresh their mind and recharge their energy.

However, there are some people who argue that those host countries should accept different cultures. But I am against this argument. For
example, if people visit their friend’s home, they will follow rule of their friends, if they do not, they are unwelcome
because of the disrespect. such as In the same way, tourists who travel to the foreign nations should show their respect to local culture.


Generally speaking, I suggest visitors should try to learn more different cultures when they are traveling around the world.
Learning the local culture, local language, their traditional skills and lifestyles are helpful to travelers, and they will get a lot of
stories they can share with friends.

I agree with your point about how a friend should act as a guest and I think that is very relevant.

The only other suggestion I have is to review this sentence:

"Others, however consider that those countries should accept multi-culture from different place.".

I understand what you are trying to say but it is not all that clear... maybe try something like this:

"There are others who believe locals should adapt to the way a foreigner acts in their country."

Good luck!