Mao
Written Exercise 192 – A DOG TAKES VENGEANCE ON HIS OWNER [ I want to practise describing the videos I have watched or retelling the stories I have heard with proper tenses. ] Just now, I happened to watch an amusing video on the internet on my phone. It was filmed on June 5th in Nantong, Jiangsu province, China. This video was about a pet dog that took vengeance on his owner by tipping over the owner’s food. It showed a part-time cleaner doing the cleaning in the living room accidentally made a pack of dog food spill on the ground. She immediately gathered them together. A man behind the camera said,” It is no big deal! To put them back in the packing bag is ok.” However, the dog in one of the bedrooms seemed to know what was going on and walked towards a basin of fruits on the tea-table. And then he overturned the basin to make the fruit spill. After that, the dog collected and put them back to the basin with his mouth. How amusing of the dog! He really knows well what an eye for an eye is!
2021年6月17日 08:47
修改 · 7
Written Exercise 192 – A DOG TAKES VENGEANCE ON HIS OWNER [ I want to practise describing the videos I have watched or retelling the stories I have heard using proper tenses. ] Just now, I happened to watch an amusing video on the internet on my phone. It was filmed on June 5th in Nantong, Jiangsu province, China. This video was about a pet dog who took vengeance on his owner by tipping over the owner’s food. It showed a part-time cleaner doing the cleaning in the living room who accidentally made a pack of dog food spill on the ground. She immediately gathered them together. A man behind the camera said,” It is no big deal! It's okay to just put [it, meaning the food?] back in the packing bag.” However, the dog in one of the bedrooms seemed to know what was going on and walked towards a basin of fruits on the tea-table. And then he overturned the basin to make the fruit spill. After that, the dog collected the fruits and put them back in the basin with his mouth. How amusing of the dog! He really knows well what an eye for an eye means!
Haha, nice work! 1. Is it your intention to use British English? In American English, "practice" is spelled the same both as a noun and a verb. 2. I would suggest adding a cause and effect transition to explain "it showed a part-time cleaner . . ." 3. I don't know what "gathered together" means in this context. Do you mean that she gathered together the food/put it back in the bag? In other words, why do you even need to point out that the man said that the cleaner only needs to put the food back in the bag?
2021年6月17日
Written Exercise 192 – A DOG TAKES VENGEANCE ON HIS OWNER [ I want to practice describing the videos I have watched or retell the stories I have heard with proper tenses. ] Just now, I happened to watch an amusing video on the internet on my phone. It was filmed on June 5th in Nantong, Jiangsu province, China. This video was about a pet dog that took revenge (more natural) on its owner by tipping over the owner’s food. It showed a part-time cleaner who was cleaning living room and accidentally made a pack of dog food spill on the ground. She immediately gathered it (dog food is singular) together. A man behind the camera said,” It is no big deal! Putting them back in the bag is ok.” However, the dog in one of the bedrooms seemed to know what was going on and walked towards a plate (basin is rarely ever used) of fruits on the tea-table. Then he overturned the plate to make the fruit spill. After that, the dog collected and put them back on the plate with its mouth. How amusing of the dog! He really knows what an eye for an eye is!
2021年6月17日
Written Exercise 192 – A DOG TAKES VENGEANCE ON HIS OWNER [ I want to practise describing the videos I have watched or retelling the stories I have heard with proper tenses. ] Just now, I happened to watch an amusing video on the internet on my phone. It was filmed on June 5th in Nantong, Jiangsu province, China. This video was about a pet dog that took vengeance on his owner by tipping over the owner’s food. It showed a part-time cleaner doing the cleaning in the living room who accidentally spilled the contents of a pack of dog food on the ground. She immediately gathered the food up. The man behind the camera said,” It is no big deal! It's ok to put them back in the packet.” However, the dog, who was in one of the bedrooms, seemed to know what was going on and walked towards a bowl of fruit on the tea-table. And then he overturned the bowl to make the fruit spill on the floor. After that, the dog collected them and put them back in the bowl with his mouth. How amusing of the dog! He really knows well what an eye for an eye is! Corrected by Keith!
Thanks for Keith !
2021年6月17日
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