You have excellent pronunciation and intonation in English ; the only word which is not quite right is 'thoughts' in the first sentence, which should sound like 'thauts'. The 'ough' in English has different pronunciation in different words, but is most commonly as in 'brought', 'caught', 'taught', 'fought', 'bought', 'nought' ie zero, and 'daughter'. In British English the same sound is also heard in 'fort' and 'sort'. For correction to your text, it is better to submit it as an exercise. However I'll try here, as there are very few corrections. I read a Japanese book “In The Megachurch” recently and it amazed me so much that I hope it’ll be translated into English soon. I also guess the theme is too unusual* for foreigners to *get, as the jacket band says “Here in Japan,* having no God, some STORIES that manipulate people replace them.” A *men trying to trap some people down a rabbit hole [as]* to produce a brand new J-POP boy band (group), a girl having become a *stan, and a *women having quit fangirling over a Japanese actor. Three different views of *fandom[s] are told like a religion in the novel. Marvelous. * unique is not the right word here * 'understand' or 'follow' is better, 'get' is slang, OK in casual conversation * use a comma [ , ] after Japan * 'stan': do you mean 'star' ? * 'men' and 'women' should be singular - man, woman * '. . rabbit hole so as to . .' OR '. . hole to . .' * fandom is singular