Richard-Business Eng
Professional Teacher
Six reasons why it may be difficult to find a language exchange partner...
This is a re-posting of a discussion that was first posted in July 2015 and has been re-posted
several times since 2015.

italki member Miriam has recently posted a discussion and provided valuable advice to members
who are seeking a language exchange partner. You can see Miriam's discussion "How to italki: Looking for language exchange partners" at: <a href="https://www.italki.com/discussion/205038" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.italki.com/discussion/205038</a>;


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1 Learning a language is hard work

- Yes it helps to speak to someone. This improves our listening skills. But if the listener doesn't understand something, they must ask for an explanation. If they do not ask, they will not learn.
- The time spent talking to your partner is helpful, but it's not enough. The learner must read grammar documents and websites, do exercises, develop questions when they don't understand something, identify grammar-related problems, and prepare for the next exchange.
- And please know that learning a language or becoming fluent cannot be done overnight (i.e., in a very short time).
 

2 Language Exchange Partners

- Many people want to learn English, but not all English speakers want to learn another language.
- Even if the English speaker wants to learn another language, it may not be your native language that they want to learn.
- Some exchanges are not equal. It often happens that 90% of the time is spent discussing one language only.
- Some people are not serious about learning or teaching and some people simply are not good at teaching or tutoring.

 
3 Time Zones / Time Differences

- We live in different time zones, e.g., 9 AM my time may be 3 AM your time or 9 PM your time.
- This makes scheduling an exchange difficult or even impossible.

 
4 Our schedules and other commitments

- Life is complex. The two partners or one of the partners may not be available because of other commitments, such as work, studies, family and friends, internet/communications difficulties, or illness.

 
5 Dogs, mutts and trolls

- Some people just come to play, but learning a language is hard work, not play.
- Some people (usually men) have no intention of learning or teaching a language. They just want to meet young ladies.
- Some men think it's cool to speak with young ladies just for fun, but if the goal is language learning, then these men are not cool, they are just wasting everyone's time.

 
6 Being Serious and Appreciative

- Some people start an exchange and then in a very short time they lose interest and stop communicating.
- If you stop for no good reason, then your partner will probably give up and stop too.
- If you don't express your gratitude for your partner's time and effort, done for free, then your partner may think you don't appreciate their effort, may become discouraged and feel unappreciated. And the exchange may end.
 

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These are six of the reasons that I could think of.
But there are other reasons.

Take this opportunity to tell us some of the other reasons - your opinions and comments are valued.


Apr 1, 2020 2:22 PM
Comments · 13
2
In my opinion, language exchange is complicated thing because partners must be interesting to each other as interlocutors. You spend more on supporting partnerships than on language. You need to be interesting speaker for the partner and this obligation distracts from the main objective, from the language. 
April 1, 2020
2
Good discussion, Richard, and well worth a re-run.

Relating to your first point, I find that many people looking for partners believe that just by chatting you can improve. I've not found this approach useful, and insist that partners are willing to correct me, as I will do for them. It's much harder work, and less 'social', but it's what I expect from an exchange and, not surprisingly, I find it more difficult to find willing partners.
April 1, 2020
2
Thanks for sharing this!
April 1, 2020
1
thanks a lot. Also. most people don't appreciate the difficulties in learning their mother tongue and they focus on the grammatical mistake rather than communicating.
April 1, 2020
1
i totally agree especially the tip number 5 ....
April 1, 2020
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