Muhammed Qasim
Please validate the sentence below, if it needs any refinement to it please refine it. Preoccupied, while I was walking towards my friend's house, I did not realise that I was neer the railway track up until I was startled by a train passed very closely. I thank you in advance for your kind help.
Dec 13, 2023 4:22 PM
Answers · 7
4
I would suggest: I was preoccupied while I was walking to my friend's house and I didn't even realize I was near the train tracks until a passing train startled me.
December 13, 2023
1
As I walked to my friends house earlier, I was so preoccupied with thought that I only realized I was by the railway when a train rushed passed, startling me and missing me by inches. It's not perfect but I hope this helps.
December 13, 2023
1
This version saves a few words. While walking toward my friend's house, I was so preoccupied I did not realize I was near the railway, until startled by a passing train. And maybe it is enough to just say: While walking toward my friend's house, I was startled by a passing train. I like the simplicity of this version. If being preoccupied is really important to the narrative, then perhaps we should explain the source of the preoccupation? But this is about style, not grammar. Hope that helps.
December 13, 2023
Still haven’t found your answers?
Write down your questions and let the native speakers help you!