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Once upon a time, there was family Mr and Mrs. David went out to attend the wedding,
Their sons Tom and Jack were all alone in the house.
At midnight, the doorbell rang, Tom ran and opened the door thinking that his parents were back.
But there he found a stranger who stands at the door. He was a burglar, He tied Tom and went to the room to look for valuables, but he was unaware of jack, the other brother.
When jack saw the thief, he quietly slipped out of the house and complained to the police, the thief got arrested.
Jun 19, 2021 8:26 AM
Corrections · 2
Invitee
1
Once upon a time, there was family Mr and Mrs. David went out to attend the
wedding, Their sons Tom and Jack were all alone in the house. At midnight, the
doorbell rang, Tom ran and opened the door thinking that his parents were back.
But there he found a stranger who stands at the door. He was a burglar, He tied
Tom and went to the room to look for valuables, but he was unaware of jack, the
other brother. When jack saw the thief, he quietly slipped out of the house and
complained to the police, the thief got arrested.
Dear Zack, nice job on this exercise. Make sure to capitalize proper names such as « Jack and Tom » this is quite nice grammatically so I’ve given you a few possibilities for expressing your ideas more clearly. Finally, what about a bit more detail in the narrative and description? What happened to Tom after the burglar had been arrested? Did Mr. and Mrs. David come back home?
Thanks for inviting me to work on this with you and keep up the writing practice! It’s a lovely way to improve your English!
July 8, 2021
Invitee
Once upon a time, there was family. One day, Mr and Mrs. David, the mother and father in this family, went out to attend a wedding.
Their sons Tom and Jack were all alone in the house. At midnight, the doorbell rang. Tom ran and opened the door thinking that his parents had come back.
But instead there was a stranger at the door who had come to rob the house!
He tied Tom up and went into the other room to look for valuables. However, he was unaware of Jack, the
other brother. When Jack saw the thief, he quietly slipped out of the house and called the police. The thief was then arrested.
July 8, 2021
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