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Mannoo Gupta
Hi, Everyone, I have six family member including myself. My father is farmer and my mother is housewife Moreover, My elder brother staying with me in Mumbai City for the work purpose and my younger brother, sister they both are studying in college University. On 16th December 2004, I moved to Mumbai City with my maternal uncle to explore Mumbai but after few months later got attracted by their school dress of childrens whenever they passed out through the way in front me i was like why shouldn't have this kind of attire with me as well. Therefore, I insisted many times to take me to the school and wanted to study here only. My intention was to wear shool dress because it looked very fascinating and came from rural village area where i had lack of amenities Although, schools were there at my native place as well but was in under privilege even though nobody were wearing school dress at all. Gradually after som time he agreed and i got the admission in one of small school which is located near by my residencial hometown. Somehow while working in hotel completed my study till graduation, this is not end after graduation i was pursuing master degree but in the meanwhile i left it because not having good shape in financial status. I hope you guys can help me out for more perfection in writing skills. I would be happy to hear your piece of advice. Thanks,
Nov 21, 2020 11:22 AM
Corrections · 9
1
This part is very confusing, please can you rewrite it: "On 16th December 2004, I moved to Mumbai City with my maternal uncle to explore Mumbai but after few months later got attracted by their school dress of childrens whenever they passed out through the way in front me i was like why shouldn't have this kind of attire with me as well." Also, separate your essay into paragraphs. We look forward to seeing your changes :)
November 21, 2020
Hi all, I have six members in my family including myself, so far. My father is a farmer and stays in our rural village as he doesn't like to go anywhere. About my Mom; she is a housewife and also head of my family as my father doesn't care about anything about the family. Therefore, my Mom is taking care of all the family's requirements. However, I don't live with my whole family as I moved to Mumbai City when I was just 11 years old and my elder brother has also lived with me for the last 3 years. My younger brother and sister are studying in a University which is located near my village.
November 21, 2020
Hi everyone! In my family I have six family member including myself. My father is farmer and my mother is housewife. Moreover, my elder brother is staying with me in Mumbai City for the work purpose and my younger brother and sister they both are studying in college University. On 16th December 2004, I moved to Mumbai City with my maternal uncle to explore Mumbai but few months later got attracted by their school dress of childrens whenever they passed out through the way in front me i was like why shouldn't have this kind of attire with me as well. Therefore, I have insisted many times to take me to the school and wanted to study here only. My intention was to wear shool dress because it looks very fascinating and came from rural village area where i had lack of amenities. Although, schools were there at my native place as well but was under privilege even though nobody were wearing school dress at all. Gradually, after some time he agreed and i got the admission in one of small school which is located near by my residencial hometown. Somehow while working in hotel I had completed my study till graduation, this is not the end after graduation i was pursuing master degree but in the meanwhile i left it because not having good shape in financial status. I hope you guys can help me out for more perfection in writing skills. I would be happy to hear your piece of advice. Thanks!
November 21, 2020
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