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What should we do for our parents?! How can I love my parents much more deeply?

Mother is so crazy and mad and when people say words to her she always misunderstand them and she think every people is malicious she's not quiet but doesn't trust anyone when she feel angry or when some people say something to her she shouts loudly and say something very dirty and sometimes that make me can't even control myself or stand her any more I know I should be a good daughter but I found it's such a hard thing to be and I have no idea at all. She's afriad Father when Father feel angre father bit or shout us but Mother hate and love Father and when Father leave she can't cntrol herself and I don't know what's the love between Father, Mother and I and when I talk to them I feel especialy hard and difficult. How can I be a good daugter???!!!

Feb 1, 2016 11:15 AM
Comments · 5

Mother-daughter relationships can be difficult.

I never got along with my mother.  She was a very unstable and bitter woman who took out all her angrer and frustrations out on me and I was scared to death of her until I left her house at age 19.

All I can say is that they are the adults and they are the ones responsible for changing their attitudes and behaviors and you should carry no guilt about what they do or say.

February 1, 2016

Hi, I have read this article. It seems that the situation is not very easy. First thing came to my mind to read this is that people around 40 are very energetic through one's life. And along with the passage of years, most of them will become calm. But for a child, it's a serious problem.

I think not all the adults are mentally matured, or can be said every adult has childish aspect in one's character. And in this situation, I think it's important for you to protect yourself firstly.


How about you try like this way for the present, you treat your mother as one woman more than your mother, or you become a friend more than a daughter. And you try to think or do what you can do as a friend when she looks in trouble. It's just OK being side by side when you feel you can't do anything. See if the situation or your feeling has changed more or less after a while. 


And, when you feel you can't treat the situation at all, you can also rely on the supports of others like relatives, teachers, or such section of government. Some may be able to give you effective support. These are what occurred to my mind at this moment. Really hope it will get well!

February 2, 2016

@ Ms Lazlozy: I have enough reason to understand every people. But I asked myself again and agian, does understand means accept? NO NO NO at all. Then what should I do after I understand someone but can't accept him or her? It's a question that I didn't find out. Every people who is really kind and frienly to me or someone I trust, all tell me that I should love parents but how should I do then? I believe them and their words, But Love is such an abstract thing and I feel I'm facing a so very huge problem!! I don't know how can I love her, but what will her life be after I leaving her? What about father? Will Father hit Mother more often???!!! That's so macabre so to leave this mind let me feel shame or oneasy.


@Adrian: No I'm not sure Mother liked that when I began to have sense to the world. Father seemed did what you advised but and he tried to do something let me felt creepy and Mother... didn't change. I think that's because there were too much pain happened to Mother when she was young and when she use dirty words, she not only curse family or some people met her recently but also many things happened long time ago. My parents are a bit like Pavel Korchagin(the character in novel How the steel was tempered)'s grandparents. Sometimes mother says events sometimes use lots of imagination. And i guess no body would like someone to take him to a hospital am I right? But at that time I just felt Father is macabre. And in fact mother didn't change her except age at all I think.

February 1, 2016
When they get older, some people develop a kind of dementia which makes them unable to control themselves.  They may say inappropriate things, and act in a bizarre way.  Can you persuade your mother to go with you to see a doctor, who may be able to advise you on how to cope with her condition ?
February 1, 2016
Is it OK just to leave and forget about it all?  
February 1, 2016