<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">Hello,</font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">I would like to learn a little bit about your opinion on a statement that a woman said to me some years ago.</font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">“If you cannot handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”.</font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3"> </font><font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">At that time, it sounded to me like some kind of emotional blackmail. However, years later, I sometimes think it could have meant quite honestly (sort of a friendly warning that one is not so easy-going). Maybe the statement I mentioned is even a proverb and it has a totally another meaning than I think.</font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">Please let me know what this statement could have tried to convey to me. Thanks a lot!</font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">Paul</font>
“If you cannot handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”.
My guess:
I think many women AND men feel this way concerning their partner. People are people - they have good moments, bad moments, and everything in between. They can sometimes do and say stupid, frustrating, irritating, and bizarre things. They can also do and say sweet, nice, helpful and amazing things.
If the person you care about only wants you or wants to be around when you do and say wonderful things, one has to wonder if the other person truly cares about you. Most people probably view themselves as nice and helpful MOST of the time to their partner, occasionally "messing up". In those cases, they expect their loved one to overlook it or help them through it.
Possibly she viewed that you couldn't put up with her bad moments, and thus questioned whether you really cared about her. She made a point to tell you how frustrated she was with that, by saying those words to you.
I hope I explained this so that it makes sense and I hope it was helpful. :)
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">Dear Nhan, </font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">Thanks for</font><font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3"> </font><font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">your answer. It might could have been as you think …. Who knows? And thanks for your correction (The more tired I am the more grammar mistakes I make ;-)</font><font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3"> </font><font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">)</font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">Best regards,</font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">Paul </font><font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3"> </font>
In my opinion, it might mean: If you can not be with me when I had a trouble or when I failed, you don't deserve to be with me when I success.
If you couldn't stand her bad mood, you don't deserve to be happy with her good mood. Something like that
Sorry, I am trying to convey what I think but it's difficult to me too. :)
Hope it could help
(BTW, *few years ago)
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">Hi Verna,</font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">Your explanations are excellent. I think you would also be a good couple therapist or marriage consultant. Or even a divorce lawyer ;-).</font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">The meaning of the sentence has become much clearer to me. Unfortunately, the event I talked about took place a lot of years ago and I really cannot remember the details (body language, gestures, tone of her voice, facial expression and so on).</font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">Thanks for explaining such a complicated topic to me in easy-to-understand English. </font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">Best regards,</font>
<font color="#000000" face="Calibri" size="3">Paul</font>
