Beauty
help me revise this composition

Would you like to revise my English composition?(At first, thank you for Steve Smith's help.)

title:Should women return to the kitchen?

With the development of society, there are increasingly more women going outside the home to be working mothers. But as a matter of fact, some people still think that women should return to the kitchen where they should work. 

Among these people, some consider women are suitable for looking after family because of their patience, carefulness, and blindness. They can teach children how to do some housework and take care of themselves well. The others also think, the breadwinners work hard and even work overtime or second jobs to earn more money to support their families. Some people also believe the breadwinners are supposed to have a comfortable, cozy and relaxed environment which women create at home after working all day. 

We know the above, but we don't know household women suffer from inner pains such as loneliness and a lack confidence. We might think they are happy for a simple life, in which they don't need to work hard in a company, and just do cooking, cleaning, picking up children, shopping, etc . But to tell the truth, women have to stay at home for their families  and haven't got their own salary, so some people might not show the same respect for her as for her husband.

Besides, we can't waste the wealth of gifts that women contribute to society. They ought not to lose their social class. There are a large quantity of jobs needed to be done by women not men, such as confinement nurse. If women return to the kitchen, the development of society will be slower than before due the to decline of competitive power in the workforce.

What's more, a father also can fulfill all a child's needs. Except for the qualities a mother has, a father also can explore, play riddles, climb mountains, etc and outside activities. If the mother works outside, the father can have much more time to stay with their children, and the family has double wages.

Last but not least, men will be not able to replace women. Women shouldn't return to the kitchen, this is beneficial to family and society.

Mar 18, 2017 4:30 AM
Comments · 2
"What's more, a father also can fulfill all a child's needs. Except for the qualities a mother has, a father also can explore, play riddles, climb mountains, etc and outside activities. If the mother works outside, the father can have much more time to stay with their children, and the family has double wages."

A father can hardly serve all needs for a child unless this child may as well get love from the mother. In a sense, a father is more likely to have time playing with his children if the father has no full-time work but if the family has pressure in finance, they must learn what to compromise between the family and the income.   
October 20, 2017

"With the development of society, there are increasingly more women going outside the home to be working mothers. But as a matter of fact, some people still think that women should return to the kitchen where they should work. "


With societal development, an increasing number of women choose to work as a career woman after marriage and they think they can well balance the family and the career, whereas some others consider women's values consist in the family and they believe women should return to kitchen in any way. I personally believe women ought to have the freedom of choice whether continue to work after marriage or to pause their career for the moment. 

October 20, 2017