Irene Colthurst
Jokes in English
Two languages walk into a bar...

Let’s talk about jokes and learning English. When did you learn your first joke in English? When did you understand a joke for the first time? When did you tell one for the first time?

And what is your favorite joke in English? Why?
Sep 5, 2019 6:43 PM
Comments · 2
2
Stereotyping according to what some global media outlets would have us believe. Playing on more than one meaning of walking into a bar. "ouch" -->headache and band aid or a plaster in the UK

America:
Two languages walk into a bar...and the language behind the bar says "my uncle's a good lawyer you can sue the bar for millions".

England:
Two languages walk into a bar...and the first language says to the second language "steady old chap look where your going, and it's your round"

Scotland:
Two languages walk into a bar...and the Scottish English language says to the English English language Jimmeee your away with the fairies now, let me buy your your last whiskey before you go"

Eire:
Two languages walk into a bar...and the landlord says "paddies why din't you lift the flap, and the two languages reply, we didn't want the Murphy's to escape" [you have to know your Irish drinks for this joke]

Paris:
Two languages walk into a bar...and a passerby begins a week of rioting, bringing the city to a standstill.

Berlin:
Two languages walk into a bar...and the the third language takes out his notebook to record everything three times.

Madrid:
Two languages walk into a bar...and the bull fighter finishes them off with a sword through the front of their head shouting ollalah.

Rome:
Two languages walk into a bar...and the pope gives them a blessing six hail Mary's and shakes the collection box in front of their faces.

Istanbul:
Two languages walk into a bar...and the bar says "peki" [for the Turks only to know]

Moscow:
Two languages walk into a bar...and president Putin claims they were acting on the American president's instructions

Tehran:
Two languages walk into a bar...and it starts a diplomatic crisis

Jerusalem:
Two languages walk into a bar... and the rabbi says see what happens if you don't respect your mother.

Calcutta:
Two languages walk into a bar...and they can't be treated because there is a cow inside.




September 5, 2019
Stereotyping according to what some global media outlets would have us believe. Playing on more than one meaning of walking into a bar. "ouch" --> headache and band aid or a plaster in the UK

Toronto:
Two languages walk into a bar...and the French language says to the other language why didn't you warn me and the other language responds by shaking it's head and miming no 'comprendo' es

Shanghai:
Two languages walk into a bar...and the bar girls smile and giggle and bow several times and say they are sorry

Saigon:
Two languages walk into a bar...and a demilitarised zone is built around them and a new border crossing.

Sydney:
Two languages walk into a bar...and the barman says that will be 20 dollars mate the two languages say WHY! the barman says "that's how much you haven't spent whilst I had to deal with you".

Auckland:
Two languages walk into a bar...and the North language say to the South language [it wasn't good time to stop]



September 5, 2019