[Deleted]
Harassment on Italki
Last year, I told one of my Skype language exchange partners that I don't want to continue our language exchange. I also said that I don't want to keep in touch, because I feel like my daily life is busy enough without making small talks online.
Last week, this person emailed me and said we need to talk (about some problems in life or some sh*t). When I didn't respond, he left a correction under my notebook entry, and left another message. He then sent me a private message on italki.
I'm not sure if I'm overreacting, but I'm very upset by this. In this world, we have a thing called "boundaries," and when another person says he/she is busy and doesn't want to keep in touch, I would respect that person's wishes.
I feel harassed and basically stalked, because it seems that this person, although he's not on my friends list, has bookmarked my profile and was checking to see when I'm online.
Seriously though, am I overreacting? My husband says I shouldn't be too upset by this. I've had many different language partners (both male and female) in the past 10 years, and this has never happened to me -- because normal people understand boundaries.
Feb 24, 2020 5:45 PM
Comments · 9
5
Just block that person if they can't accept your boundaries. When they're blocked, they can't comment on your notebook entries or discussions and can't send you private messages.
February 24, 2020
5
Boundaries are often set by cultures. Some people behave more aggressively and seem pushy, but they may not realize it themselves. If you tell this person you are not interested in talking to him very clearly and tell him to quit contacting you, then he should get the message. If he doesn't, and you still want to remain on the app, then see if there is a way to report his behavior or block him. Your husband may say you are overreacting (as a practical matter) because he doesn't pose any danger to you, but if he is spoiling you fun on the app, then I think you have a right to be upset. Good luck.
February 24, 2020
2
I have no good answers. Do not ignore your feelings.
Capture copies of the persons messages, with dates and times, and save them.
Try blocking the person on italki.
You can block people in Skype, I've forgotten how, but block him on Skype as well.
Maybe if the person is unable to get any reaction at all from you, they will eventually get tired and stop.
Get ready to change your email address and any other contact information you've given this person... don't do it, but start putting together a list of online accounts that need to have your email address, and will need to be changed or updated if you change your email address.
February 24, 2020
2
I agreed with you, we need to respect boundaries. Tu eres muy valiente y mereces todo el respeto.
February 24, 2020
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