My ex-boyfriend was an Australian, and I really got piss off with his opened-mind to 'sex'. Generally, Chinese believes that lovers should loyal to the 'love' between them, but he seems doesn't think it matters. He told me he had crushed on somebody when we were apart temporaraly, and when I asked him if he would bed with her, he said 'if it happens, then it happens'. I was angry and raised the possibility to break up, but he claimed that I was a 'Europen-centurial prig' (two hundred ago?). He thought I was too conservative, but I thought he didn't cherish me and our love.
If it is a cultural matter, can I ask you western people questions?
To boy-don't you really think if you bed with someone else won't hurt your girlfrien?
To girl-don't you mind if your boyfriend flirt with others (but it's maybe just a friendly conversation), and even want to bed with her?
Thank you for your answer!
He is self-serving - his words are designed to permit him whatever he wants and deny what you want. Chinese men are no different, but may speak less openly of what they really want. Behind their protests of faithfulness so often is a wish for playing the field. And just think, women are the same - when a man has sex with a woman a woman has sex with a man; when a man is unfaithful, there is a woman taking part in it and being unfaithful too.
for western people having casual sex is ok as long as they are not commited. But I don't think even they think its ok to have sex with others while they are commited to someone. That's frowned upon everywhere in the world.east or west...
It's not so much a culture difference than it is him just being an asshole. I think most Australian girls would have dumped him on the spot. He probably heard of traditional Chinese customs and assumed you'd tolerate polygamy. You've certainly proven him wrong haha
I don't think the differences in your attitudes are so much culture related as how you and your ex looked at your relationship differently. I have been dating an american guy for more than two years, never had he said things that implied he would be okay with open relationship, casual sex or 3p stuff. I think it all depends on which stage the guy is in. If he's like close to 30 or plus and is looking for commitment and settling down then he probably wouldn't be so casual about sex with other people. But if he's still young and wants to explore more about himself then he would most likely be more casual about sex.
I think it's fairly simple. If you boyfriend loves you, he will be cool with the idea to keep his pants up. If he can't do that, he doesn't love you. That doesn't have to do with Western, Eastern, Southern, Northern Background, education, whatever. This is a simple question of morals to me.
