I want to preface this by saying that this is not an attempt to get someone to feel sorry for me and become a language partner, but an earnest request for input, advice, etc. Although if this did end in me finding a language partner I certainly wouldn't be opposed to that.
First of all, I am from the United States and I'm a native English speaker. I joined italki in order to learn Japanese, and have since started taking lessons with a Japanese instructor (two so far.) I was fairly content with that being how I'd learn Japanese, but at the end of my lesson last night I was told that it would be best if I could find a Japanese language partner, someone in Japan that wants to improve their English (since I speak the language fairly clearly in his opinion), and use that as a supplement for his lessons in order to improve my Japanese faster. As it stands I don't speak a lot of Japanese, but that's really not the point of this discussion.
I know that one of the more common stereotypes about Americans is that they're very forward people and are outgoing, and while I've certainly met many of my countrymen that fit that bill, I've never been able to act that way. I've always been very shy when it comes to meeting new people, unless it's a casual conversation with someone working at a grocery store or convenience store. Even online, where you think it would be a lot easier to put yourself out there, I still find it difficult to just introduce myself to a complete stranger. Once I know someone I'm good at that point, open and talkative, no question is off limits really, but it's that initial point of contact that always gets me.
So what I'm wondering is whether anyone has any advice for how to do that in general, how to be more confident and brave, or how Japanese people prefer to be approached. Is it really okay to just send a message to a fellow italki user and say, "hello, my name is Jonathan and I'd really like to become your language partner and talk with you on Skype on a regular basis?" Should it be something so simple, or should it be a more complex introduction? I realize that for a lot of you these are probably very easy concepts and you don't think anything about them when you contact new people, but for me it's always been a problem.
So any advice you could provide on how to be brave, what's the best way to introduce yourself, whether there are any differences in how Japanese people like to be approached from the way Westerners like to be, or whatever else you have in your glorious, brave noggin would be greatly appreciated.
Sorry this is so long but I tend to be pretty wordy. Also thanks in advance for your reading this and your response, whatever it may be.
I am not Japanese but I used to work with Japanese people and I'm from Asian country so I may share with you some of my experiences as below:
- Japanese peope are very very friendly and open-minded. There will be some difficulty at the begining of the conversation (firstly they might be shy) but later on, they will show you how interested they are.
- Janpanese people always respect the partner. However, as I mentioned above, they feel shy in expressing their feeling in a direct way that they think it will hurt you or something like that. I sometimes cannot understand this issue (when it happens to me). However, they are totally kind and easy to talk.
If you make friend with a young Japanese person, it will be easier to have an open conversation. When you talk to a person and receive their encouragement, you will feel more confident! I am not a talkative person but luckily I met some friends through Italki and they're very kind. They helped me a lot!
Good luck and try your best!
hi jonathan.
what you feel is not uncommon at all in my opinion. may be you are an introvert, so are many other people. i think you already know how to introduce yourself, may be you just cant open up.
i believe humans like to express themselves, once you try expressing yourself to others, you will be happily surprised by great responses. i am not japanese and i cant speak japanese so i cant comment on how japanese people like to be approached. but its just my general view.
good luck.
I find it best to let people know in advance that I don't like video chats, i.e. I am fine talking, but I generally dislike showing video, too. Not having the chat be a video one helps me a lot, actually! :)
Agree on a duration for the call ahead of time. Keep it brief for starters. If there is interest on both sides to continue having such talks, then it can be expressed later on via messages.
Have some sort of plan for the talk. Establish common interests or interesting topics ahead of time. Have a few articles or even online videos prepared to present aspects of your own presentation, even.
A few random thoughts, but I hope you find them useful! :)
Hi Jonathan, I had ever got sociophobia, I know the situation is very complex.
Sometimes that need to deal with it by yourself.
Like me, There are many negative about humen I saw it too much.
People would think that I am anti-society that because they dont know the problem that hide truely.
They only think that is a kind of people who had ever seen and that come from myself. It is not true as they said but they make me doubt the world is true or not
For me, that is like I am raped by uncle they dont believe it. So I have to bear it more.
I have to face it bravely that make me very strong for a long time but someday I met a person
they want me to face it from heart like forgiving humen. So that I start to learn it.
And I really learn more back. There are the same people suffering from it too
I know the stress would influence a lot actually but there are ways you can choose
However Face it is the first step; how to face it that is your choice. there are the same people suffering from it too but maybe you jump out you will see different world
Oh my gosh, Jonathan, I go through the same thing. It's really hard to innitiate a conversation with someone that you don't know, especially if you don't know how they'll respond (or at least that's how I view it, I'm still working up the courage to actually search for a teacher on here). A lot of times it's easier to be approached... it shaves off a certain amount of stress - unless being approached adds more stress...then...that isn't good lol. I agree with Royal Shiny, expressing yourself is extremely important. You should just ask them however you want to ask them. You'll know depending on their response if they'd be someone you want to practice with because why would you want to practice something that you're really into(Japanese) with someone that you wouldn't get along with...right?
