Hey Sarah, is this for the IELTS as well?
A short paragraph about the "Role of Computers in Our Lives".Part1.Could you please correct my notes
Finally, with the advent of computers, almost all of our daily works, once needed to be fulfilled manually, now can be accomplished by computers (You shouldn't use "computers" twice in a sentence, you could write something else, like "automatically" or "at the press of a button"). Nowadays, we have access to different sources of information for collecting data in a fraction of a second (word order) . Scientists no longer need to waste their time in large libraries to find the latest research; they are able to accomplish the most complicated tasks as well as time-intensive activities in half a second by using bsuper-computers and different software. As a result, computers have paved/are paving a way for a better future life.
There were a few mistakes, but nothing grave. Great job, as always! :)
A short paragraph about the "Role of Computers in Our Lives".Part1.Could you please correct my notes
Finally, With the advent of computers, almost all of our daily works,tasks which were once needed to be fulfilled completed manually,WO now are accomplished by (computers)machine. Nowadays, we can access to different sources of information in a fraction of a second for collecting data. Scientists no longer need to waste their time in large libraries to find the latest research; they are able to accomplish the most complicated tasks as well as time-intensive activities in half a second by the use of/using super-computers and different high-tech software. As a result, computers pave a the way for a better/easier future life.
Sarah this is a technical piece and you have done well with it.
For WO - if you say the sentence out loud I hope you will hear that it sounds more natural to say "are now accomplished". You have the correct words though :)
I have suggested changing "computers" to "machine" rather than repeat "computer". I have used the singular "machine" rather than the plural as I felt it worked better with the piece, as it made me think of the saying "Man against machine". Others may prefer to use the plural.
I substituted "high tech" for different as I feel it is a better word to use in the context. I also felt you were looking for a new word here.
I have given you the word "easier" as an alternative word you could use but thereis othing wrong with your use of "better", it issimply an extra word that would also fit the sentence.
Well done and keep up the hard work, your topics are becoming more challenging. :)
A short paragraph about the "Role of Computers in Our Lives".Part1.Could you please correct my notes
Finally, with the advent of computers Almost all of our daily work, which once needed to be done manually, can now be accomplished by computers. Nowadays, we can access to different sources of information in a fraction of a second to collecting data. Scientists no longer need to waste their time in large libraries to find the latest research; they are able to accomplish the most complicated and time-intensive tasks in half a second using super-computers and different software. As a result, computers pave the way to a better future life.
A short paragraph about the "Role of Computers in Our Lives".Part1.Could you please correct my notes
Finally, with the advent of computers, almost all of our daily work*, once needed to be fulfilled manually, is now are accomplished by <em>(with)</em> computers. Nowadays, we have access to different sources of information in a fraction of a second for collecting data. Scientists no longer need to waste their time in large libraries to find the latest research; they are able to accomplish the most complicated tasks as well as time-intensive activities in half a second by super-computers and different software. As a result, computers pave a way for a better future life.
I think that last sentence should be <em>...computers have paved a way</em>
