A Perfect Girlfriend (A Love Story) 1

I had heard of my ex-girlfriend's name a lot even before I met her. My cousin, who was in the same company with a colleague her, has always talked about her -- saying how well she treats people those around her, what a pretty and smart and pretty she is and a very caring girl she was, etc, etc. I never paid too much attention, because my impression since what are was the odds of a girl being pretty, and smart AND above all, a heart of pure gold.  and caring was extremely small. I didn’t my cousin's tales. believe him.

One day, I went to my cousin’s company to pick him up for dinner when I saw her sitting after in front of a computer screen. It was then, my the first time that I met seeing her. She was talking to someone. and then She raised lifted her head and she laughed. Her demeanor was like a flower in blooming. That’s when Right then, I knew exactly what they said was true. that “Love at first sight” does exist.

I asked my cousin for an introduction... to introduce her to me. We dated for a few months before she agreed to [sounds more of a equal partnership than a guy just grabbing the girl.] become my gal girlfriend [Since the tone of your story is casual]. It turned out that everything What my cousin had said about her was true. She was is indeed beautiful, that’s for sure. [Not wrong but just stylistic differences.  You want to be more respectful during the courtship] Just like while When we were walking on strolling down the street, talent spotters would come up to her and ask her if she was interested in becoming a model. Her uncle was the boss of the company she worked for, [Not wrong at all but  you are telling a story, not just giving facts] Yes, her uncle is my cousin's boss and her parents were are highly well-respected for in their line of work. , butNone of her friends and colleagues knew... these. She treated everyone nicely. She has no princess attitude with them.  She even remembered everybody’s everyone's birthday, and sent them birthday cards came on the dot. time.

1. You need to be aware of when to use the correct tense.  In the above, I changed some the past tense into present tense because if it was used in the past, it can mean it is no longer true now.

2.  On the whole, minor grammar errors.  However, you are telling a story and you need to make it colorful and interesting for the reader.  This is not a report but a creative piece of work.

3.  Like the physical beauty of a person, punctuation marks are very important to the visual look of the words.  You need to know when you use them.  It is like applying the wrong makeup for the situation.  You won't make yourself like a floosy when going for a job interview unless it is for that line.

4.  If you are interested in me editing and showing you how to write better, then let me know and I shall continue.  I don't want to be accused of showing off.  Yes, some people do think so.

She was never late for our dates; She never asked me nor pushed me to do anything I don’t want to do. Whenever I was busy, she never called does not call me incessantly a hundred times just because I could not message get back to her back in time. Whenever I played the "Magic Cards" with my friends in the living room, she would prepare the food and drinks for us. and go back She would retreat to the bedroom to read books or to watch movies. Sometimes I went into the bedroom to check [not good because it makes you look suspicious of her.  Just like parents checking on their kids when they are TOO quiet.] see how she is -- her, only to find that she had already fallen to asleep. I felt guilty and apologized to her for my neglecting her after when she wakes up. She Always a smiled and said something nice words to comfort me. She was is smart, but she never shows ed off her intelligencesmartness. When we had As for having dinners with my friends and their significant others girlfriends, she never sought wanted to be in the limelight. but She would talk about Floyd, Shakespeare, or comic books, or electronic gadgets. digital products with us. We trusted each other. We could even exchange our know each other's passwords our of the social networks accounts. Some guys would When male friends ask her out, and she would gently refuse them graciously decline without embarrassing and disarm them with that smile of hers. Yes, she is this precious.

To be continued...