Ester
It is important that people choose a career when they are still quite young. Some teenagers are concerned about their future. They want to archive their goals and dreams. However, they have to study hard during their childhood and adolescence to be knowledge of different topics, because choose a career can be very difficult decisión. On the one hand, a good academic formation give them more opportunities to find a job. Nowadays, we are living a economical crisis and young people are suffering deal consequences. On the other hand, most young people would be enjoy your time studying hard, but at the same time they would have a social life, because adolenscence is a period of live who has a lot influence in their personality. To sump up, I strongly believe that most of teenagers spend more time playing with computer games rather concerned about studing a professional carrer, but adults have to encourage them to do an effort to run their own business or have a eventual job.
Nov 17, 2015 2:40 PM
Corrections · 1

It is important that people choose a career when they are still quite young.

Some teenagers are concerned about their future. They want to achieve their goals and dreams.

However, they have to study hard during their childhood and adolescence to be knowledgeable of different topics, because choosing a career can be very difficult decisión.

On one hand, a good academic level gives them more opportunities to find a job.

Nowadays, we are living in an economic crisis and young people are suffering the consequences.

On the other hand, most young people want to enjoy their time studying hard, but at the same time they want to have a social life, because adolescence is a period of life which has a lot of influence on their personality.

 

To sum up, I strongly believe that most teenagers spend more time playing with computer games rather than being concerned about studying for a professional career, but adults have to encourage them to make an effort to run their own business or have a job.

 

Hello Ester,

 

Lots of good points in this essay, a few misspellings and wrong words. Remember  to learn word patterns and not just individual words. The ones in this essay are 'study for', 'have a lot of influence on', 'make an effort'.

 

Hope this helps

 

Bob

November 17, 2015
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