introducing an ancient poem about moon 望月怀远 This poem is very beautiful yet a little bit difficult. I don't know whether English my translation is correct，：P. 望月怀远 Looking at the moon and missing （

水烟轻澹

introducing an ancient poem about moon 望月怀远 This poem is very beautiful yet a little bit difficult. I don't know whether English my translation is correct，：P. 望月怀远 Looking at the moon and missing （someone）far away 唐张九龄 Dynasty Tang 海上生明月，As the moon rises to shine brilliantly above the sea, 天涯共此时（shi）。the entire world shares the same moment together. 情人怨遥夜，Sensitive people complain of the long long evening，竟夕起相思（si）。Start missing for the whole night. 灭烛怜光满， Snuff the candle and love the full moonlight. 披衣觉露滋（zi）。Throw on clothes and be moist by the dew. 不堪盈手赠， As I can't hand you the moonlight, 还寝梦佳期（qi）。so I go to bed again to dream of meeting you. explanation： 1. It is very common to miss someone while looking at the moon in Chinese culture. 2. In ancient time，情人 doesn't mean lover，it means 有情之人。I don't know how to translate a person who is sensitive to mood（？？） 3. 夕 has two meaning，one is sunset and the other is evening. 竟夕means the whole night. 4.怜 also not mean pity here，in ancient time，it can mean love. for example，怜香惜玉。

May 28, 2011 2:18 PM

Corrections · 19

This is no correction！ Just enjoying this poem.

望月怀远 Looking at the moon and missing （someone）far away
Longing for the distance while looking up the moon
※I felt the one by Jeff is nice. Just thought out by myself.

唐张九龄 Dynasty Tang

海上生明月，As the moon rises to shine brilliantly above the sea,
As the moon rises shining brilliantly above the sea,

天涯共此时（shi）。the entire world shares the same moment together.
suppose you are sharing this very moment on the other end of the world.

情人怨遥夜，Sensitive people complain of the long long evening，
The sensitive person complains of the length of the evening,

竟夕起相思（si）。Start missing for the whole night.
is because he starts missing the lover all through the night.

灭烛怜光满， Snuff the candle and love the full moonlight.
Snuff off the candle and treasure the moonlight everywhere,

披衣觉露滋（zi）。Throw on clothes and be moist by the dew.
putting on the coat, find being moist with dews on it.

不堪盈手赠， As I can't hand you the moonlight,
It's the dews glittering with the moonlight, which I can't hand over,

还寝梦佳期（qi）。so I go to bed again to dream of meeting you.
so now it's the right time for meeting you in bed.

The translation is based on my understanding and free imagination：)

May 30, 2011

Not sure if you know of this essay I wrote on translation. Here's the link

<a href="http://www.italki.com/docs/d6051ce4-48cf-4837-b490-0a8124864116.htm">http://www.italki.com/docs/d6051ce4-48cf-4837-b490-0a8124864116.htm</a>;

Introducing an ancient poem <s>about the moon</s> 望月怀远, "Viewing The Moon In Reminiscence"

This poem is very beautiful yet a<s> little </s>bit difficult. I don't know <s>whether</s> 1 if my English <s>my </s>translation is correct，：P.

望月怀远 <s>Looking at the moon and missing </s><s>（</s><s>someone</s><s>）</s><s>far away </s>"Viewing The Moon In Reminiscence" 2

唐 张九龄 Dynasty Tang 3

海上生明月，As the moon rises to shine brilliantly above the sea, 4
The brilliant moon, born out of the sea,

天涯共此时（shi）。Let the entire world shares the same moment together.
Sharing this moment even as we are at different ends of the world.

情人怨遥夜，Sensitive people complain of the long long evening，
My friend 5, I frown that this night is too long,

竟夕起相思（si）。Started missing you for the <s>whole</s> night.
Indeed I miss you greatly this entire evening6.

灭烛怜光满， Snuff out the candle and love the full moonlight.
Snuff out the candle light and enjoy this moonlight together7.

披衣觉露滋（zi）。Throwing on some clothes and <s>be </s>moist by the dew.
Draping on my clothes I find them dewy wet.8

不堪盈手赠， As I can't hand you the moonlight,
Alas as I cannot grasp your hands fully,

还寝梦佳期（qi）。so I go to bed again to dream of meeting you.
I shall retire to dream of our reunion.

explanation：

1. It is very common to miss someone while looking at the moon in Chinese culture.

2. In ancient time，情人 doesn't mean lovers，it means 有情之人。I don't know how to translate <s>a person who is sensitive to mood</s><s>（？？）</s><s> </s>this term to suit the mood.

3. 夕 has two meanings，one is sunset and the other is evening. 竟夕means the whole night.

4.怜 also not mean pity here，in ancient time，it can mean love. for example，怜香惜玉。

1. "Whether" has the same meaning for "if" but used in comparing two situations. "if" does not.

"Whether you go or not, I don't care". "If you go, I don't care".

2. As in my essay, titles should be short and concise. Has to grab the attention of readers.

3. You need to give the poet's name in English

4. This is not wrong. You are translating it's meaning but I am doing a literal translation to retain the feel of the poet's thinking. The green colored coding is the correction of your English. The blue one is my interpretation. Translation of poetry is difficult and so you have your style and mine. They are not wrong. Just different styles. If there is any disagreement, it will be in red.

5. You are indeed correct in your commentary. pei (?) 服. You know your poetry background well! This is a poem about missing his friend. Not about lovers. Without your most useful commentaries I would not be able to translate the true meaning of this poem as I won't have the time to research why this poem was written. Translating and correct your work is a most welcome respite. Can I consult you if I have to translate any classical poem? I am truely humbled by your knowledge. I fear your English will improve by leaps and bounds if you translate poetry for poetry is the crystalization of languages.

6. I chose, "evening" rather than "night" because "night" had been used. I don't like repetition when not emphasizing something.

7. Although this word is not in the original text, it is implied. This the crux of this poem which an English reader not knowing the background of the poem may miss the point of this poem entirely.

8. The poet has been outside viewing the moon for a very long time so that his clothes became wet with dew.<o:p></o:p>