S.M
Hello. I'm a Japanese college student. I often take pictures when I travel. Because I want to post it on Instagram. But I'm so focused on taking pictures that I've forgotten the purpose of the trip. Therefore, I would like to refrain from taking pictures so that I can enjoy from the bottom of my heart.
Jun 10, 2021 6:59 AM
Corrections · 5
Hello. I'm a Japanese college student. I often take pictures when I travel, because I want to post it on Instagram. But I'm so focused on taking pictures that I've forgotten the purpose of the trip. Therefore, I would like to refrain from taking pictures so that I can enjoy from the bottom of my heart.
I think that is something everyone with a camera is prone too, it's hard to find a balance, isn't it?
June 10, 2021
Hello. I'm a Japanese college student. I often take pictures when I travel, because I want to post them on Instagram. Often, I'm so focused on taking pictures that I've forgotten the purpose of the trip. In future, I would like to refrain from taking (so many) pictures so that I can enjoy the trip wholeheartedly.
Lovely! I understood you completely and your English is very good. Grammar wise: don't start sentences with 'because' and avoid starting them with 'but'. Otherwise, your grammar is spot on! Stylistically, I've changed 'therefore' because it sounds a bit formal. You could add in 'so many' if you meant that you still wanted to take pictures, just not so many, or you can leave it out to mean that you won't take a single photo on your next trip. I've also changed 'from the bottom of my heart' to 'wholeheartedly'. It conveys the same meaning, but usually in English you would mean something from the bottom of your heart (thank from the bottom of your heart, love from the bottom of your heart) but you would do something wholeheartedly (with full attention)
June 10, 2021
Hello. I'm a Japanese college student. I often take pictures when I travel. Because I want to post it on Instagram. But I'm so focused on taking pictures that I've forgotten the purpose of the trip. Therefore, I would like to refrain from taking pictures so that I can enjoy from the bottom of my heart.
June 10, 2021
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