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The Tim じぁん!!!
It was a bit cloudy today. I discovered a stunning trait within myself - the potential to be a good hypnotist. As dusk settled in and my mom was cooking, my dad approached me with the intention of setting me more practice. However, I managed to persuade him to hear me read a story I had recently learned - Zootopia. I made a cozy spot for him in my bed, ensuring he was cozy and relaxed. I began reading the story with great passion, albeit in a soft voice. I controlled the pace of my reading, and as his breathing grew heavier and louder, I lowered my voice even more, almost trailing off. Eventually, he fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, snoring heavily. The whole thing happened within ten minutes, but bought me hours of free time. It seemed I had unknowingly hypnotized him with my storytelling hypnotism.
Mar 27, 2024 10:51 AM
Corrections · 4
1
It was a bit cloudy today. I discovered a stunning trait within myself - the
potential to be a good hypnotist. As dusk settled in and my mom was cooking, my
dad approached me with the intention of giving me more to practice. However, I
managed to persuade him to hear me read a story I had recently learned -
Zootopia. I made a cozy spot for him in my bed, ensuring he was cozy and
relaxed. I began reading the story with great passion, albeit in a soft voice. I
controlled the pace of my reading, and as his breathing grew heavier and louder,
I lowered my voice even more, almost trailing off. Eventually, he fell into a
deep, peaceful sleep, snoring heavily. The whole thing happened within ten
minutes, but bought me hours of free time. It seemed I had unknowingly
hypnotized him with my storytelling.
Good job! Wasn’t exactly sure what you meant by “setting me more practice” so I tried to correct it with what I thought you meant. It definitely reads like a written story, not how someone would speak casually.
March 27, 2024
1
It was a bit cloudy today. I discovered a stunning trait within myself - the
potential to be a good hypnotist. As dusk settled in and my mom was cooking, my
dad approached me with the intention of setting me more practice. However, I
managed to persuade him to hear me read a story I had recently learned -
Zootopia. I made a cozy spot for him in my bed, ensuring he was cozy and
relaxed. I began reading the story with great passion, albeit in a soft voice. I
controlled the pace of my reading, and as his breathing grew heavier and louder,
I lowered my voice even more, almost trailing off. Eventually, he fell into a
deep, peaceful sleep, snoring heavily. The whole thing happened within ten
minutes, but bought me hours of free time. It seemed I had unknowingly
hypnotized him with my storytelling.
Could be useful!
March 27, 2024
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The Tim じぁん!!!
Language Skills
Chinese (Mandarin), English, Japanese
Learning Language
English
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