Speaking of books, most of them I have already forgotten. I just know my life is changing enormously and I only rely on myself for everything. I never give up -- just like my idol Kobe, who was an amazing guy.
I'm not sure what meaning you wanted for the second sentence. Maybe one of the following?
"I only rely on myself for everything" = I do everything independently, without asking other people to help me
"everything depends on me" or "everything depends on the choices I make" = my choices and my actions are what changes my life