I think Anthony's version changes your meaning. If you meant: He told you (how to win), then told you (how to make your orders faster, and also more successful) then it should just be: He elaborated on how to win in a business negotiation and raise the success rate of your orders in less time. it might be a bit clearer as: He elaborated on how to win in a business negotiation and how to raise the success rate of your orders, in less time.

As far as grammar the sentence seems good to me, except as Gary says I would change "with less time" to "in less time". One thing I don't understand is the logic. An order is usually the result of a successful business transaction. You negotiate and then as a result of successful negotiation the client says ok, and places the order. So I don't understand how you can improve the success rate of the orders, because the order is the result of the already successful negotiation. (But it could be that I don't understand it because I am not a business person and maybe I don't understant the process fully.)

It just does not sound 100% right to me. I would write: 'He elaborated on how to win a business negotiation, then raised the success rate of orders, with less time.' Cheers...