One blacked out, sank into his chair and hated himself to death??
Unable to gain dominion over the tongue, vanquished in a blind battle of denial, the hatred of the losing side withdrew into the barricades to multiply even more. I could hear its footsteps. It was going to search for a way out. And out it would go, at first chance. It would either become an act unleashed in a weak moment or a thousand curses to spew from my mouth. It would either land on Ahad or whomever else it would be that I happened upon…all hatred ended up at the same place in the end: tomorrow. It could wait. It would wait. I would wait with it. I was a true coward after all. And hatred was the coward’s vengeance. I was an expert! One blacked out, sank into his chair and hated himself to death. But he would be the first to die. From a brain tumor! A vengeful tumor! A tumor the size of a marble! From too many fantasies of vengeance.
I would like to know what does the "one“ in the sentence "One blacked out... "mean .Does it refer to the man I hate ? Or does it mean "I"? Thanks.