You should post it in the notes section so that we can correct and explain to you better with different fonts and colors. I will just answer some since they don't require too much explanation. Your English needs to be corrected as well. If you do post in the notes section, please send me a message and the link so that I can help you with the finer points in translation. 他乡月光 . Usually 他 means "he" but has the extended meaning of refering to the second person or "someone than myself". 他乡 becomes "not my hometown/place". 他乡月光 = "the moonlight in /another village/strange land/foreign place". It evokes the image of homesickness. 乱世百年剩无名氏. A hundred years of chaos/wars, left are the nameless masses. 喧闹的人已见证下世皆安稳. 喧闹的人 = noisy crowd. Here it means the boisterous crowd, the hustle and bustle of city life. 见证 = seen proof 下世 = the latter half of their lives, 皆 = 都 = also. 安稳 = stability. Here it means that the people still remaining (in the city) have seen hope and stability in their latter part of their lives as the city has become a vibrant place filled with life. Literal translation: The lively populace had seen in their latter part of their lives the proof of stability". Translation by meaning, "The lively city had seen proof of stability in the later years". Errors: 恨 here means "regret", NOT "hatred" 荒凉 = desolate. 彷徨 = come and go, to and fro 沉沦 = pass into oblivion 志欲 The problem with simplified characters. 欲 (want, to desire) is also a simplified form for 慾 (desire). In the context, it means "to want" the lyrics mean you desire to leave your name in history. Here 青 does not mean the color blue/green/black but the bamboo strips on which annals are written on before the invention of paper. 少年之志欲留青史 must be parsed as 少年之志 the ambitions of the youth and 欲留青史 wanting to leave their names in historical records and hence cannot be grouped as 志慾 . The lyrics are written in semi-classical style.

整体翻译的很好，即使是母语是汉语的我也未必能翻译的这么好，很棒！ 不过汉语讲究意境，一些话很难表达出来，即使是汉语，更何况是英语了。like just feeling，don't touch. 希望能帮到你，如有疑问，欢迎继续交流。