The correct word is probably "impugn" (a very formal word, meaning to attack or assault). In this case the speaker has used the wrong word "opportune". This is called a malapropism. Comic writers use this technique to show when a character wants to appear intelligent or formal but uses the wrong word - often a word with an opposite meaning - and ends up sounding incredibly stupid. The speaker probably meant to say, "if I were near, I would impugn on you very badly". This means the speaker would be troublesome if he/she were near. This wiki link gives some other examples of malapropisms, mainly by Sheridan's Mrs Malaprop and Shakespeare's Dogberry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malapropism The possibilities are endless. :D

Ha, yes, this can be very complex (and funny!). Thinking about it now, I agree the Dark Panther is much closer to the mark. By the way, I don't know many insidious comic readers. :P

* ASSIDUOUS!!!

Yes, I think it is slang. This was said by a person who is an asiduous comic reader so " Peachey" has more than half of the answer. However, the intention is a mix, like "if I were there, I'm so interested on you that I would take any opportunity to be with you to the point of be (I suspect) troublesome". How amazing is language!

Sounds like he/she is speaking in slang. And it sounds like the speaker is interested in the person he/she is speaking to and is telling him/her that if he/she had the chance he would take the opportunity to be with her (in what ever way you'd like to imagine it lol). More simply put, he is expressing that he wants her really badly. :P