Does anyone can help to correct my academic essay? HELP
The Number of “Tiger Parents” will not Fluctuate
Tiger Parents, who are setting high exceptions and having a longing for their children to be the best, have expressed concern about the pressure their children are under. Personally, the number of “Tiger Parents” is estimated to stay relatively stable with the increasingly severe competition in China. This essay will give reasons from culture, society and unconsciousness perspectives .
PLEASE HELP ME.I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO CORRECT IT. BE SPECIFIC, PLEASE.

Question

Does anyone can help to correct my academic essay? HELP
The Number of “Tiger Parents” will not Fluctuate
  Tiger Parents, who are setting high exceptions and having a longing for their children to be the best,  have expressed concern about the pressure their children are under. Personally, the number of “Tiger Parents” is estimated to stay relatively stable with the increasingly severe competition in China. This essay will give reasons from culture, society and unconsciousness perspectives .
      PLEASE HELP ME.I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO CORRECT IT. BE SPECIFIC, PLEASE.

Answer

The first thing is that "tiger parents" should be explained properly, ie. that we are talking about a certain personality in human adults, and that it's not about fully-grown felines.

I'm not sure how you would find proper statistics for this, but I guess that's up to you. Either way, please make sure you have some reference for each point you make.  It's very strange to say "personally" then finish the sentence in an impersonal manner.

Also, find a better synonym for "unconsciousness". It's made the sentence accidentally comical.

If you have the patience, you could post fragments in Notebook (http://www.italki.com/notebook) and hope that some members will give corrections. Keep the posts short, please... long texts usually get ignored.

Alternatively, you could hire an italki teacher or tutor and get corrections done in the lessons. You can expect an A4 page of text to take an hour.

Answer

Actually...what are you going to say with thoses sentencss?

Answers · 2

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