Davor 😎 đŸ’‚â€â™‚ïžâšœïžđŸŽŻ
Community Tutor
!!!! If you can correct my text I would appreciate that a much! Thank you in advance 😎 TOPIC: Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. I find this topic very interesting because being an artist today is generally not easy, it is quite ungrateful. There is a lot of obstacles that they find in front of there self and like a cherry on the top of the cake those people who cope with art very often have problem with some government restrictions about their work. We can also discuss this topic through some different aspects, for example: economically, socially, religiously, personally, historically, educationally, and so on. If we look this problem through history we can see that governments had always wanted to control other people, especially those who are against state leaders. Some big artist from sphere of literacy used to send “hidden” messages to the other readers about their opinion of government or to mock them in those texts. Very often that action ended by sending those writers to the prison or killing them “because of actions against government”. But I think that time has changed, maybe not so in some non developed countries who are very radical. Now artists have more freedom, they are quite protected about their actions, mostly because of developed media and law that secures them. Generally, I do not always approve their actions, especially when it is connected to religion and insults other people beliefs in their God. I strongly believe that is not good to leave artists to do whatever they want to do, since their actions are not always educational and can seriously affect to the younger people and their behavior. Freedom of speech is guaranteed but it have some borders, and that should obey artists too.
Feb 7, 2024 10:53 AM
Corrections · 4
If you can correct my text I would appreciate that very much! Thank you in advance. 😎 TOPIC: Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way (or "however" instead of "whichever way") they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. I find this topic very interesting, because being an artist today is generally not easy, it is quite thankless. There are a lot of obstacles that they encounter (or simply, "they encounter a lot of obstacles") and to top it off, those people who can make a living out of art very often have problems with some government restrictions about their work. We can also discuss different aspects of this topic, for example: economically, socially, religiously, personally, historically, educationally, and so on. If we look at this problem throughout history, we can see that governments have always wanted to control other people, especially those who are against state leaders. Some big artists from the sphere of literacy used to send “hidden” messages to other readers about their opinion of the government, or to mock them in those texts. Very often that action ended up by those writers being sent to prison or killed, “because of actions against the government”. But I think that time has changed, although maybe not so in some non-developed countries that are very radical. Now artists have more freedom, they are quite protected about their actions, mostly because of developed media and law that secures them. Generally, I do not always approve of their actions, especially when it is connected to religion and insults other people's beliefs in their God. I strongly believe that it is not good to let artists do whatever they want, since their actions are not always educational and can seriously affect younger people and their behavior. Freedom of speech is guaranteed, but it has some limits and artists should obey that, too.
Hi Davor. Not bad. "The cherry on the cake" is normally talking about the best part (positive). "those writers being sent to prison or killed" is in the Passive Voice - when we don't know who is doing the action, or it's not important. We need to put the correct verb tense of "be" and the past participle: being sent. Another example: "This house was built in 1654." Who built it? We don't care - some builders. "Who" is just for people - "non developed countries THAT". "it is not good to let artists do whatever they want," - we don't need to say "to do" because it would be repeating "artists do" and it's obvious. Borders are the geographical limits of countries. Finally, be careful with the article "the". I did a podcast about them: https://www.italki.com/en/podcast/episode/coh1dyg1vpvszcpnwaecgn A good effort, though. Keep practicing!
February 7, 2024
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