To begin you had had bad days. Your ego comes to you over and over. I know is complicated don't think about this wound but you have to look at the future. If you don't keep your look to your goals, you could take more time to achieve all your professional goals. Don't give up! please. You have the most beautiful landscape in your window just look around, and just think that you can obtain all of you imagine. Remember when you were 20 years old, you said: I can! Always in your mind, I can! and you gave it. Remember who are you. Your confidence must be recovered. You are the best for you, you don't need to have the approval of anyone else. You need to go ahead, I know the situation is highly complex for your beliefs but you need to go ahead. Sometimes you just procrastinate and you just imagine sceneries that don't real, you can't change the past, you are in the present, and you need to work in the present, if you just think in your past and you say: if I would have…You will continue stuck in the past. Just looking to the future. What do you want for you? This life is your challenge. Nobody gives you the confidence and the love that you need to feel. You shouldn't wait for them, your emotions are the product of your thoughts, and you must choose the right thoughts. Thoughts that can feel good, happy, and important for you, not for them. The challenge is you vs you, remember that. All of you wish to be. You are the center of your life nobody else, you are your alpha and omega. Don't forget who are you, I don't want to say that you will become a selfish person, but you always should ask yourself: If I do this favor or take this decision, really that's ok for me?