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Lia Garcia
My party! Yesterday, I gone to a party with my friend David. He study english with me at university. He wanted to be introduced to Lucy wo he fancied. David and Isatt in the corner of the room. He didn ' t making the first move to go and see her. He waited for so long to tell her that he had a crush on her. He taked adrink to get some energy and after a few minutes of endless hesitation, he walked to her. David remained mute. She gave a hint of a smile, noticingDavid blushing. She asked him if he enjoyed the party. He whispered ' Yes ' and had a glance at me. I wincked at him. That was it. Feeling reassuredand confident, he told her which feelings he was experiencing. She suddenly sullened. She looked embarased. She could hardly say a word but after alittle seconds, she said : ' I ' m sorry to deceive you but actually I fancy Sebastian ' . David fainted : ' a friend in need is a friend inded ' !
Jun 6, 2013 5:15 PM
Corrections · 2
2

My party!

Yesterday, I gone to a party with my friend David. He studies english with me at university. He wanted to be introduced to Lucy who he fancied. David and I sat in the corner of the room. He didn't make the first move to go and see her. He waited for so long to tell her that he had a crush on her. He took a drink to get some energy and after a few minutes of endless hesitation, he walked to her. David remained mute. She gave a hint of a smile, noticing David blushing. She asked him if he enjoyed the party. He whispered ' Yes ' and had a glance at me. I winked at him. That was it. Feeling reassured and confident, he told her which feelings he was experiencing. She suddenly sullened fell silent. She looked embarrassed. She could hardly say a word but after alittle seconds, she said : ' I'm sorry to deceive you but actually I fancy Sebastian ' . David fainted : ' a friend in need is a friend indeed ' !

 

Orange - corrected

Blue - added

Cross - removed

June 6, 2013
You need to study the past tense. Yesterday I 'went' to a party. Also, he 'studied' English.... There are also some issues with spelling here.
June 6, 2013
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